SLIEMA — For the eighth year running, a parking enforcement officer operating in the Sliema-St Julian’s corridor has been voted “Most Feared Person in Malta” in an annual survey conducted by the Malta Independent Polling Institute, defeating stiff competition from tax auditors, dentists, and one’s own mother-in-law.

The warden, known to locals only as “il-Multa” (The Fine), has never been formally identified and is described differently by every witness. Some say she is tall. Others say he is short. One motorist claimed il-Multa “appeared as a shadow, wrote a ticket in four seconds flat, and vanished before I could even open my car door."

"I once parked for eleven seconds — eleven seconds — while I ran into the pharmacy for my mother’s medication,” recounted Zaren Schembri, 45, of Msida. “When I came out, there was already a ticket on my windscreen. The ink was still wet. I looked around. Nobody. Just the wind and the faint smell of bureaucracy.”

According to data obtained through a Freedom of Information request, il-Multa has issued approximately 47,000 parking fines in the past twelve months alone. Given that Malta has roughly 400,000 registered vehicles, this means il-Multa has fined approximately one in every eight cars in the country.

”The numbers don’t even make sense,” admitted Transport Malta spokesperson Joanne Micallef. “Our systems show fines being issued at 3 AM on Christmas Day. Fines in streets that don’t technically exist. We received one fine issued to a boat. We’re not sure what’s happening.”

Despite the fear factor, some have expressed grudging admiration. “You have to respect the dedication, mela,” said retired policeman Tumas Borg. “I spent thirty years on the force and never came close to that kind of productivity. If we gave il-Multa a badge and a gun, crime in Malta would be eliminated in a week.”

The warden has never granted an interview, and attempts by journalists to locate and photograph il-Multa have consistently failed. One Times of Mela reporter staked out Tower Road for six hours and saw nothing. When he returned to his car, he found a parking ticket on it.

Il-Multa is expected to accept the award in absentia. A fine will likely be issued to anyone who attends the ceremony.