Business
Government Mandates Siestas After Workers Locked In Offices Produce More Than Fireworks
All workers must now take mandatory siestas after a pastizzija blunder revealed productivity gains.
Latest
Culture
Maltese Government Declares 'Pastizzi Pilates' as National Sport, Citizens Required to Juggle Pastries
13 Aug 2026
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Fishing Boats, Citizens Finally Excited About Traffic
12 Aug 2026
Culture
Maltese Government Moves All Public Holidays to Third Tuesday, Cat Influencers Approve
In a shocking twist, Malta decides every holiday should fall on the same day, pending feline approval.
Malta
'Maltese Delays' Time Zone Introduced: Now 45 Minutes Late is Officially On Time
In a move to manage expectations, the government rolls out a new time zone just for public transport.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares 'Bajtra vs. Karamelli' Day a Public Holiday for Serious Debates on Dessert Origins
To celebrate, citizens will engage in heated discussions as they consume prickly pear pastries and honey tarts.
Malta
Valletta Mayor Announces Plan to Turn Buses into Mobile Pastizzerias, Claims Traffic Will Smell Like Heaven
Public transport problems meet pastry cravings in a groundbreaking initiative.
Culture
Local Fisherman Claims Sentient Pastizzi Begged to be Deep-Fried, Now Everyone’s Questioning Life Choices
A fisherman from Sliema revolutionizes dining and philosophy with a talking pastizz.
Entertainment
Valletta Bakery Introduces New Pastizzi Filled with Hypothetical Scenarios for a Brighter Malta
Customers are confused but intrigued by the latest culinary innovation.
Culture
Malta Declares 3:33 PM The Official Time for All Public Holidays After Fortune Teller's Prediction
In a bold move, Malta's public holidays will now all coincide at 3:33 PM to boost tourism, say government officials.
Business
Maltese Government Requires Ferries to Transport 200,000 Liters of Seawater to 'Calm' Great Salted Fish
In a baffling move, Malta thinks seawater might solve its mythical fish problem.
Culture
Local Authorities Declare National Holiday for Gozitan Sheep Shearing Championship and Poetry Recital
Maltese sheep shearers now confirmed as cultural icons, poets, and fashion designers.
Business
Government Requires Limestone in Tuna Sandwiches for 'Extra Crunch' and Economic Growth
In an effort to boost the economy, Malta now mandates limestone in every new tuna sandwich recipe.
Culture
Retired Fishermen Offer 'Cappuccino Catching' Workshops, Claiming They Can Catch Fish and Brew Coffee at the Same Time
Local fishermen say they can revolutionize café culture one fish at a time.
Culture
Maltese Bus Drivers Now Tour Guides With Complimentary Pastizzi, Tourists Have Never Been Happier
In a daring new cultural plan, bus drivers are now turning into historical tour guides while serving pastizzi.
Malta
Maltese Government Announces Plan to Replace Buses with Gelato Trucks, Calls it 'High on Sugar, Low on Traffic'
Sweet news for commuters: Malta is trading in buses for gelato trucks to create a smoother, tastier journey.
Culture
Maltese Government Replaces Landmarks with Life-Sized Pastizzi to Attract Tourists
Flaky pastry declared more welcoming than ancient temples and fortifications.
Malta
Fish in Grand Harbour Declares Itself Minister of Sustainability, Demands More Pastizzi
A newly discovered fish takes on a political role, demanding environmental reforms while swimming in circles.
Foreigners
Maltese Government Offers 'Gelato Asylum' for Tourists to Escape Summer Heatwaves
In an unprecedented move, tourists can now apply for residency at gelato kiosks.
Malta
Maltese Fishermen Declare War on Seagulls After Rabbit Stew Vanishes, Claim Gourmet Chef Behind It
Local fishermen believe seagulls are stealing their recipes and flying to Gozo with secret culinary tips.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi a Cultural Heritage, Launches 'Pastry Patrol' to Enforce Respect
In a bizarre twist, the Maltese government aims to honor pastizzi while monitoring your pastry consumption.
Culture
Kombucha Party Proposes €800 Million Plan to Make Azure Window Malta's National Beverage
A refreshing twist on the national drink: Now with natural limestone flavor!
Business
Government Solves Traffic Woes by Powering Buses with Residents' Belly Button Lint
Maltese authorities declare lint as the key to cleaner streets and less traffic.
Malta
Local Fishermen Swap Nets for WiFi Routers, Claim Fish Tinder is the New Catch
Fishermen believe social media is the key to hooking fish these days.
Entertainment
Local Fishermen Start Singing to Fish, Now Fish Can't Swim But Can Dance the Tarantella
Fishermen claim traditional folk songs are the new bait, leaving fish utterly confused.
Culture
Triton Fountain Announces Candidacy for Mayor, Promises 500% Gelato Budget Increase
In a surprising splash, Valletta's iconic fountain seeks to run the city, insisting it can lower sea levels and boost gelato funds.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares 'Spaghetti Snail' National Dish, Sparks Extensive Garden Decor Controversy
In a bold move, the government believes it has found the ultimate solution to pasta shortages and slow cooking.
Culture
Maltese Fishermen Offer Free Drone Rides to Tourists for Fish Guts, Claiming It Improves Rabbit Stew Flavour
In a bizarre new trend, local fishermen believe fish guts can enhance traditional rabbit stew and are using drones to lure tourists.
Malta
Government Declares All Buses to Run on Pastizzi Leftovers; Traffic Jams Now Smell Like Heaven
In a bold move, the Maltese government aims to fuel public buses with delectable pastizzi scraps, causing a surge in traffic as drivers stop to enjoy the aroma.
Entertainment
Maltese Government Opens World’s First Underwater Band Club, Fish to Join in Twerking
Tourists can now enjoy live music while surrounded by body-surfing fish in the Mediterranean.
Culture
Maltese Government Introduces Mandatory 'Festa Attire' Dress Code for Civil Servants
In a bid to boost morale, Malta's civil servants must now don sequined shawls and carry pastizzi at work.
Culture
Fishermen Declare War on Plastic Bags, Hold 'Best Catch' Competition for Junk
Maltese fishermen are taking a stand against floating plastic bags, now competing for the top prize of a golden tire.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with Feast Celebrations, Traffic Chaos Expected
From now on, every road crossing will be a village festa with pastizzi and band performances.
Culture
Mdina Declared No-Cliché-Memes Zone After Tourists Forget Malta Has Anything but Sun and Fun
Mayor takes a stand against repetitive social media posts as tourists complain about the silence.
Malta
Government Announces All New Roads to be Paved with Leftover Pastizzi for Snack Economy Boost
In a shocking move, Malta aims to tackle inflation and hunger with a culinary construction plan.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Mandatory Swimming Competitions at Every Feast to Drown Out Band Marches
New regulations aim to keep the noise of band marches under water while locals practice their strokes.
Culture
Maltese Government to Genetically Engineer Pigeons to Produce Glitter for Not-So-Silent-Prayer Festival
Birds in Valletta to glitter up streets and throw confetti while saving the planet.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares All Future Public Holidays Best Celebrated Eating Pastizzi Underwater
In a bold move to unite the nation, citizens must now dive for their pastizzi.
Business
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi New Official Currency, Everyone Now Millionaire
Citizens are in a frenzy to evaluate the value of their leftover pastizzi dough.
Malta
Government Offers Free Pastizzi for Citizens Who Swap Cars for Ċanga Carts
In a bid to promote sustainable transport, Maltese government encourages citizens to ride horse carts, rewarding them with free pastizzi and discounts on paella.
Malta
Valletta Parking Studies Show Yelling Like ‘The Godfather’ Lands More Spaces
Researchers find shouting boosts your parking argument game by a mile.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi Now Come with a Side of Historical Revisionism
Next pastry festival to feature flavors like 'Napoleon's Regret' and 'The Great Siege of 1565's Jelly'.
Culture
New National Holiday Declared for Arguing Over Empty Pastizzi Boxes, Complete with Workshops
Government declares arguing over pastizzi boxes a national sport.
Culture
Maltese Village Declares Independence for National Pastizzi Holiday, Citing 'Serious Snack Needs'
Residents want two months off to honour their love for pastizzi and introduce a new currency.
Culture
Local Fisherman Catches Legendary Maltese Kraken, Only to Find Out It’s a Giant Bag of Pastizzi
Fisherman excitedly claims sea monster, but it’s just leftover village festa food.
Business
Maltese Government Replaces Euro With Pastizzi to Boost Economy, Citizens Urged to Start Hoarding
In an unexpected twist, Malta replaces its currency with pastizzi for greater economic stability.
Malta
New Traffic Light Replacement Initiative Features Gbejna, Drivers Now Can Snack and Stack
Government claims chewy cheese will make streets safer and tastier.
Culture
Local Fisherman Invents 'Squid-Scented Sunscreen' to Repel Sunburn and Tourists After Spa Snub
In the wake of rejection from a trendy St. Julian's spa, one fisherman claims victory with his unique sunscreen.
Culture
Maltese Government to Replace Street Lamps with Pastizzi Stands for 'Light and Nourishment'
In a shocking move, the government believes pastizzi can solve power outages and dinner time.
Culture
Maltese Government Trains Cats as Official Pigeon Diplomats, Diplomacy at Its Fuzziest
In a shocking twist, Malta turns to cats for peace as pigeons and felines feud over Valletta rooftops.
Culture
Local Fishermen Plan World’s First Underwater Pastizzi Shop, Say Cheese Will Outsell Azure Window
Fishermen believe submerged pastries could lure tourists like never before.
Culture
Scientists Shocked as Prickly Pear Grants Maltese Fluency, But Only with L-Istrina Jumper and Full Moon
Fields of farmers now offer a new health craze that requires specific attire and timing.
Business
Maltese Government Promotes Jellyfish Jelly From Marsamxett as Next Superfood
Tourists can finally enjoy the taste of polluted Mediterranean waters, one jelly at a time!
Business
Maltese Government Announces Replacement of Buses with Trained Seagulls to Solve Transport Crisis
Uwejjah! Malta's public transport is about to take flight, quite literally.
Malta
Maltese Government Installs Giant Umbrellas Over Valletta, Creates Perfect Conditions for Winter Sunbathing and Sand Cakes
Winter sunbathing paired with artisanal espresso sand cakes is now a reality in Valletta.
Culture
Local Fisherman Accidentally Makes Fish-Flavored Pastizzi, Sparks National Outrage Over Tinned Tuna Prices
A fisherman’s blunder has everyone asking: Is this genius or a scam?
Malta
Maltese Government Converts Traffic Lights in Valletta into Permanent 'Liere' Signs for Ultimate Driver Confusion
In a shocking move, Valletta's traffic lights will now just say 'Liere' to keep drivers guessing.
Malta
Government Declares All Cats Must Pass Maltese Language Exam or Face Deportation
Maltese cats are now required to learn Maltese or risk being sent abroad.
Culture
Maltese Fishermen Unveil Pastizzi-Powered Fishing Nets, Seagulls Demand Higher Wages
Innovative fishermen claim new nets catch fish and serve snacks to seagulls.
Gozo
Maltese Government Officially Sanctions Tarzan Lookalike Contest to Attract Tourists, Wildlife Disappointed
In a shocking twist, Gozo's Tarzan Lookalike Contest to be a government-endorsed event, leaving local pigeons in dismay.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares National Pastizzi Day; Tourists Must Dance Before Entering Bakeries
To celebrate pastizzi, tourists will now be required to perform a ceremonial dance mimicking the flaky pastry's layers.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Għana Performances, Traffic Fines Instantly Decrease
In a revolutionary move, the Maltese government believes folk music will fix public transport and air quality.
Malta
Maltese Government Declares All Public Holidays on Floating Ship for Fireworks and Pastizzi
In a bold move, the government seeks to combine two national treasures: fireworks and pastizzi.
Culture
Malta Officially Declares Donkey Braying as National Language; First 'Donkey Dialect Festival' Set for Next Month
Donkey braying is now recognized as an official language, ensuring a future of baffling conversations and a new surge in tourism.
Culture
Local Fishermen Declare National Holiday After Finding Fish That Sings 'L-Iżbark tal-Ħobż', Mdina Cat Out of Job
A rare singing fish has fishermen celebrating while the government contemplates a tourism mascot shake-up.
Culture
Local Fisherman Finds St. Paul's 'Lost' Net, Declares Seaweed a Religious Landmark
Tourists flock to ‘Holy Ground’ to see rock where net allegedly got stuck during divine fishing trip.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Holiday for 47th Anniversary of Grass Growth at Ħaġar Qim
Nationwide celebrations include barbecues and the debut of grass-infused pastizzi.
Malta
Maltese Government Solves Tomato Shortage by Planting Them on Buses During Rush Hour
Introducing the Tomato Express: fresh salsa served with your morning commute.
Malta
Maltese Government Announces All Documents in Dialect, Pensioners Now Learning 'Għawdex-ese'
In a stunning move, the government decides only dialect will do, leaving pensions in a state of confusion.
Malta
Maltese Government Mandates Cooling Benches, Sunbather Licenses Soar
All public benches in Malta will now cool off thanks to the body heat of sunbathers.
Malta
New National Sport Declared as Marsa Parking Chaos Approved for ‘Golden Pastizzeria’ Trophy
Maltese government thinks chaos in parking can be a sport - now with trophies!
Business
Maltese Government Appoints ‘Ġbejna Ambassador’; Debate Erupts Over Plain or Peppered Cheese
The national conversation heats up as Malta prepares to send its beloved ġbejna to Italy.
Culture
University of Malta Discovers Pastizzi Packed with 47% More Wisdom, Citizens Demand New PM Made Out of Pastry
A new scientific revelation leaves Maltese citizens pondering the potential of an edible Prime Minister.
Culture
Fisherman Uncovers ‘Goldfish Vallet’, Sparks National Debate over Fish-conomy Regulations
A local fisherman stumbles upon a treasure trove of plastic cutlery, igniting discussions about aquatic investment practices.
Culture
Maltese Government Mandates Pastizzi Be Served With a Side of Historical Grievances
In an unprecedented move, every pastizzerija must now include unresolved issues with their pastries.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Mandatory 'Siesta Saturdays' to Boost Productivity Through Naps
New law requires all citizens to sleep 48 hours straight every weekend to improve efficiency.
Culture
Maltese Government to Convert Mdina Catacombs into a 5-Star Disco, DJ to Be Made of Limestone
In a shocking twist, Mdina’s historic catacombs will soon feature strobe lights and underground rave parties.
Culture
Maltese Government To Base All Decisions on Future 'Pastizzi Olympics' Results
Pastizzi eating contests linked to national policy as debate on fishing regulations heats up.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with Festa Lanterns to Boost Driving Skills
New initiative aims to create confusion and improve summer driving finesse.
Culture
Maltese Parliament Declares Festa-Buffet National Sport, Locals Expect Olympic Glory in Pastizzi Eating
Citizens are now urged to train hard for upcoming village celebrations, with pastizzi as the main sport.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with Gelato Flavors for Safer Roads and More Tourists
Drivers can now stop for Mint Choc Chip and go for Stracciatella, claims the Minister.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with 'Iriżgħa' Hand Gestures to Reduce Road Rage
Drivers now interpret life’s meaning with a wave, a flick, and a full-body shimmy.
Culture
Marsaxlokk Declares Fishing Nets as National Sport, Seagulls Named Referees
Local fishermen now compete to see who can cast a net the fastest, while seagulls watch closely.
Malta
Government Declares Buses Will Now Run on Prunes to Alleviate Traffic Congestion, Commuters Baffled Yet Enthusiastic
Liberation from traffic jams is now just a fiber supplement away.
Culture
Local Authorities Propose Underwater Carnival at Azure Window, Swimwear Mandatory
Valletta's newest attraction: an immersive experience that guarantees soggy fun.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Three-Minute Pharmacy Queue as Cultural Heritage Site
Local tourism gets a boost as Valletta's famed pharmacy queue is now a 'must-see' attraction.
Culture
Maltese Government Mandates Cathedrals to Become Pastizzi Shops, Clergy to Bake and Pray
Divine pastries are on the menu as Malta fights its pastizzi crisis.
Culture
Study Finds Maltese Cats Now Better at Returning Stolen Pastizzi Than Police
A new study reveals that Maltese cats are outpacing the police in the recovery of stolen pastizzi.
Business
Local Fisherman Reels in Vintage Car, Demands Government Subsidy for Fishing Boat Transformation
Uwejj, who needs petrol when you can fish with style?
Culture
Maltese Government Revives Pastizzi Duel to Combat Foreign Fast Food Invasion
National pride and pastry consumption unite in a new sport nobody asked for.
Business
Maltese Government Replaces Parking Meters with Fenkata Stands to Solve Traffic Woes
Traffic congestion solved: just eat rabbit stew while you wait!
Culture
Government Mandates Pastizzi Vendors Take Flipping Classes to Avoid 'Flaccid Crusts'
In a bid to preserve Maltese heritage, politicians have decided that poor pastry skills aren't just a matter of taste, but of national pride.
Culture
Maltese Pigeons File Lawsuit for Festival Rights, Demand Pastizzi and Fireworks
In a historic case, a coalition of pigeons demands their own festa, complete with fireworks and local delicacies.
Culture
Maltese Scientists Confirm: Standing on One Leg While Eating Pastizzi Doubles Lottery Winning Odds
Nationwide contest launches as locals rush to combine pastizzi with their balance skills.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares National Rock-Potato Day, Citizens Confused But Excited
The holiday celebrates the historic moment when a potato was mistaken for a rock on Gozo.
Culture
Maltese Parliament Declares 'Kinnie Break' as Official Holiday, Conversation Ban Enforces Pastizzi Interaction
Citizens can now enjoy Kinnie by the sea, but be careful not to mention any other food.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Public Holiday for Giant Snails After They Outpoll Football Team
In a historic move, snails have officially eclipsed soccer in Malta's heart.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Luzzu Boats, Claims Traffic Jams Promote National Unity
Seasickness declared a new source of Maltese pride as government acknowledges reality of 3-hour bus delays.
Business
Maltese Government Replaces Luzzu Boats with Drone Marzipan Nets to Attract Tourists
Forget the sea; the future of fishing in Malta is marzipan and drones!
Foreigners
Local Man Blames Traffic Jam on Foreigners, Proposes New Law to Sent Him Back
Mizzi declares he can see the link between foreigners and road congestion.
Culture
Maltese Traffic Jam Declared National Heritage Site; Future Generations will Visit for Educational Purposes
A once mundane traffic jam is now revered as a cultural landmark, sparking debates on preservation and pastizzi shortages.
Business
Maltese Government Introduces 'Cisk Currency' for Transactions Over €10, Promises Boost to Recycling and 'Local Culture'
In a bold initiative, empty beer cans will soon serve as currency alongside the Euro.
Culture
New National Sport: Watching Buses Try to Park in Valletta
Maltese citizens now gathering in numbers to witness the thrilling spectacle.
Malta
Maltese Family Arrives at Dingli Cliffs, Claims They're Already Lost
A local family managed to get lost while navigating the only road to the most famous cliffs in Malta.
Business
Maltese Government Constructs Giant Catapult to Launch Tourists to Gozo, Seagulls Unimpressed
In an absurd bid to revolutionize travel, Malta introduces a catapult for tourist boats.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi a National Sport, Citizens Must Compete Monthly
To boost national morale, every Maltese must now eat pastizzi competitively, or face hefty fines.
Gozo
Maltese Man Claims He Can Swim to Gozo, Wins Bet but Ends Up Just Floating on Inflatable Pastizzi
After claiming he could make the swim, Tumas discovered a new way to travel after all.
Culture
Maltese Scientists Brew Beer From ħobż, Only to Find Everyone Wants It with Pastizzi
Scientists discover revolutionary beer made from bread; residents demand it be paired exclusively with tuna pastizzi.
Malta
Maltese Parliament Renames Sunday to 'Pastizzi Day', Fines Anyone Who Skips Three Pastizzi
In a historic decision, Malta declares Sunday a mandatory pastizzi consumption day.
Culture
New Traffic Light Colors Introduced to Represent Maltese Emotions: ‘Aħmar for Anger, Għasel for Happiness’
Local authorities unveil a groundbreaking plan to redefine traffic lights based on feelings.
Culture
Maltese Village Breaks World Record for Slowest Gozo Ferry Crossing Amid Protest for Faster Pastizzi Service
Residents take matters into their own hands as they paddle alongside the ferry, demanding urgent pastizzi deliveries.
Culture
Maltese Government Introduces 'Quiet Zone' at Festas: Bands to Play Only Underwater for Fish
In an effort to protect local fish, Maltese festas will now feature underwater bands in designated 'Quiet Zones'.
Culture
Local Man Refuses To Leave Bar Until It Starts Selling Pastizzi, Declares Himself ‘Culinary Activist’
Pawlu is taking a stand for late-night snacks, one beer at a time.
Malta
Valletta Mayor Sets Traffic Lights to Green to Encourage ‘Mediterran-easy’ Driving, Chaos Ensues
Motorists are now left to rely on luck and prayers while driving through Valletta.
Gozo
Man Discovers That Gozo Ferry Is Actually Just a Giant, Floating Pastizz
Maltese tourists shocked as ferry resembles their favorite snack more than they realized.
Culture
Malta Announces New National Sport: Queueing for Pastizzi
Government declares pastizzi queueing an official time-suck.
Culture
Maltese Scientists Find Pastizzi Recipe is Alien, Demand Nationwide Search for Extraterrestrial Bakers
A shocking discovery reveals pastizzi might not be from Malta, but from outer space.
Culture
Local Fisherman Finds Singing Jellyfish, Nation Divided Between Karaoke Bars and Festa Stage
A new Marine musical sensation is causing chaos over where it should perform.
Malta
Government Announces Mandatory Street Name Change to Pastizzi Flavors, Debate Erupts Over 'Tikka Chicken' vs 'Surprise Egg'
In a bold move, the Maltese government hopes to spice up navigation with savory street names, igniting a national flavor crisis.
Culture
Maltese Dolphins Form Union, Demand to Attend Village Festas and Fireworks Like Good Tourists
Sliema’s dolphins want a turn at the cannon fire, claiming they’ve done more for tourism than any foreigner.
Culture
Maltese Cats Declare Independence, Demand Paid Naps and Unlimited Tuna Buffets
In a move that has shocked owners everywhere, cats have officially formed their own republic.
Culture
Maltese Government Mandates Silly Maltese Language for Total National Confusion
In a bold move, citizens will now speak in pastizzi orders and cow moos.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Streetlights with Giant Pastizzi to Ensure Snacking After Dark
In a move to revolutionize late-night munchies, all streetlights in Malta are becoming delicious pastries.
Malta
Maltese Hammer Runs for President, Promises to 'Nail' the Competition
In an unprecedented move, a local hammer has announced its candidacy for the presidency.
Sports
Maltese Man Creates New National Sport: Longest Wait at Traffic Lights
Residents now compete to beat their own records at red lights.
Culture
Maltese Scuba Divers Find Ancient Pizza Ovens, Nation Debates Which Topping to Add Next
Ancient pizza ovens found underwater sparks urgent discussions about UNESCO and olives.
Culture
Government Declares National Holiday for 'L-Ikkalza tal-Pastizzi' — Citizens to Balance Bread and Calories
Hold onto your pastizzi, Malta! A new holiday requires residents to juggle culinary delight and culinary disaster.
Culture
Malta Unveils Mandatory Cooking Classes for Cats, Future of Pastizzi at Stake
In a bizarre twist, the government believes cats hold the key to optimal pastizzi preparation.
Business
Maltese Government Declares 'Pastizzollar' as Official Currency, Citizens Now Pay in Flaky Pastry
In a bold move, Malta has traded euros for deliciousness, making pastizzi the new money.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Luzzu Boats: Traffic Reduced by 100%, Along with Any Chance of Reaching Your Destination
In a daring maneuver to combat traffic jams, Malta opts for the sea over roads, despite the smell of fish.
Malta
Żurrieq Deputises Retired Bus Driver to Fire Pastizzi From Cherry-Picker as 'Austerity Rockets'
With fireworks cancelled, the parish council quietly hired a retired driver to launch pastizzi from a cherry-picker — now there's a police probe, two pastoral letters and an EU tasting delegation.
Culture
Marsaxlokk Fishermen Ask UNESCO to Save Luzzijiet Eyes From Scandinavian Decal Invasion
After a wave of minimalist Airbnb hosts started peeling painted eyes off luzzijiet and replacing them with calm, geometric stickers, local fishermen formally petitioned UNESCO to grant the eyes protected status.
Malta
PMO Orders Valletta, Marsaxlokk And Ħamrun Balconies To Display Towel, Rosary And Pastizzi To Calibrate Festa Passive‑Aggression
After months of terrace wars, the government says a rolled towel, a rosary and a municipally stamped pastizzi will finally let neighbours argue with proper etiquette.
Malta
Entire Maltese Internet Now One Giant Cookie Banner, Everyone Keeps Clicking 'Accept'
After a successful tech consolidation, Maltese people now navigate the web by reflexively accepting one huge banner that covers everything, including their dinner and the ferry timetable.
Malta
Żejtun Introduces 14:14 Pastizz Pause — Offending Drivers Must Eat, Salute Statue, Apologise to Fiat 500
After a ferocious festa parking war, the band club and parish beadle signed a binding pact forcing offending drivers to stop at 14:14, eat a pastizz, salute the statue and tuck a handwritten apology under the wiper of whichever Fiat 500 is blocking the chapel.
Malta
Transport Malta Replaces Every Roundabout With A Scheduled Festa, Drivers Told To Bring Dancing Shoes And Spare Pastizzi
Transport Malta says festa-roundabouts will improve traffic flow, settle lane disputes with għana, and allow marshals to revoke licences between taralli and brass band.
Malta
Maltese News Site Now Requires Consent to Read That It Requires Consent
After a routine update the website now asks for permission to open the permission dialog, trapping readers in a polite but endless loop of buttons and 'I agree' clicks.
Malta
Government Creates Minister for Pastizzi and Peace to Legally Rota Fishermen, Tour Boats and Karaoke Aunties
After a summer of nightly luzzu karaoke in Marsaxlokk the government says a legally binding rota will finally stop boats and aunties from duetting over pastizzi.
Malta
Valletta Declares Every Wooden Balcony 'Festa Heritage Seating', Owners Must Rent Them to Band and Leave One Broken Mop and Half‑Eaten Ftira Each
A quiet council vote redefines balconies as communal festa infrastructure, triggering acute mop scarcity and an urgent call for ftira authenticity certificates.
Malta
Valletta Sells 20cm of Air Between Gallariji; First Buyer Pays Three Pastizzi and a Tallinja Card
Council quietly recognised tiny gaps between traditional gallariji as transferable private property, prompting electricians to sell notarised 'air deeds' in 20cm strips.
Culture
Għarb Bans Midnight Pastizzi to Fireworks Crews After Ricotta Crumbs Make Statues Nod During Għana
Council says late-night pastizzi deliveries were 'altering the village rhythm' and causing statues to express mild, passive-aggressive disapproval.
Culture
Qormi Bakers Get Pastizzi Declared 'Living Monuments'; PM Now Must Inspect Flakiness Annually
After a months-long campaign, Qormi bakers convinced the government to declare pastizzi 'living national monuments', obliging the Prime Minister to conduct annual flakiness inspections, the Heritage Agency to issue humidity warnings, and Gozo ferries to reserve an emergency pastry cabin.
Malta
Malta Clicked 'Accept All' At Once, Country Now Owned by Two Companies and a Script
In a rare moment of unity, every Maltese clicked 'Accept All', handing over their data, their hobbies, and possibly Marsa's roundabout to advertisers.
Malta
Government to Tow Drifting Russian LNG Tanker to Manoel Island, Open Padel Courts and Stabbilta Kiosk
After weeks of contingency planning, ministers said repurposing the tanker will solve energy worries, parking shortages and the national pastizzi deficit — all at once.
Malta
Local Man Spends 45 Minutes Finding Parking, Now Too Afraid To Leave Café In Case He Loses The Spot
Karmenu has been sitting at the same table since 9am, ordering coffee after coffee, waiting for a moment that experts say may never come.
Malta
Government Forms Committee To Decide Which Committee Should Form Next
A unanimous, carefully scheduled panel will meet to study whether more panels are needed to study panels.
Malta
Valletta Orders Pastizziera on Every New Gallarija After Pensioners Call Balconies 'Our Last Communal Oven' — Seagulls File Appeal
The Planning Authority quietly added a rule forcing a municipal pastizziera with a council‑approved ricotta dial to every new gallarija after a deputation of pensioners argued balconies are 'our last communal oven', a move immediately contested by the port's seagull cooperative.
Culture
Mdina Now Sells Silence: Pastizz, Candle and Correct 'għawdxi' Required or You Join the Banda
The city's parish committee voted unanimously that tourists may only admire Mdina's silence after buying a pastizz, lighting a votive candle, and pronouncing 'għawdxi' correctly — mistakes mean an immediate stint with the local band club.
Malta
Spinola Roundabout to Rotate 2° a Night to 'Improve' Balluta Bay Sunsets, Residents Must Remove Laundry and Pay in Pastizzi
Transport Malta will turn Spinola Roundabout two extra degrees counterclockwise each night, telling locals to recalibrate alarm clocks, take down balcony socks at sundown and bring pastizzi for the viewing levy.
Malta
Qormi’s Oldest Oven Registered as Microstate After Its Ftira Starts Issuing Parking Tickets
A ftira with strong opinions about illegal parking led the Ministry of Heritage to quietly grant sovereignty to Qormi’s communal oven after a carrier pigeon complaint from the Transport Authority.
Malta
Marsaxlokk Fishermen Withhold Anchovies From Pastizzerias Until Ferries Play 25‑Minute Għana Duet
The fishermen's cooperative says no anchovies in pastizzi until Transport Malta recognises their new national anthem — a 25‑minute għana performed under festa bunting before every ferry.
Foreigners
215 Maltese in Middle East Ask Consulate for Help — All They Needed Was Directions to a Pastizzeria
Government proud to report successful diplomatic operation that reunited Maltese abroad with their favourite snack, or at least with a Google Maps pin.
Malta
Abela Announces Election Date Will Be 'When The Ferries Start Running On Time'
Prime Minister says country not ready for polls until Gozo ferry schedule achieves national stability.
Culture
Malta Declares Clicking 'I Accept' On Every Website A National Sport
New scheme trains citizens to scroll, tick, and click through 37 consent boxes while drinking kahwa and eating pastizzi.
Malta
Government Declares Entire Country a Single Parking Spot to Finally Solve Crisis
New law reclassifies every inch of Maltese territory as one legal parking space — immediately ends tickets, creates philosophical debate about where to leave your pastizzi.
Malta
Entire Malta Clicks 'Accept All', Now Getting Ads For Their Regrets
After a weekend of unanimous consent, Maltese phones have started politely suggesting products that perfectly match citizens' most embarrassing moments.
Malta
Budget 2026: Government Solves 'Dignified Living' By Making Everyone A Landlord
New measure reclassifies residents as landlords so official statistics finally show a 'dignified standard of living'.
Malta
Parliament Puts 'Accept Cookies' Banner On House Floor, MPs Click Agree And Vote For Everything
Speaker installs website-style consent banner across the chamber to speed up law-making; MPs admit they never read the options.
Malta
Planning Authority Approves Apartment Block With No Windows To 'Encourage Community', Buyers Call It Open-Plan
Developers say removing windows will force neighbours to socialise; buyers call it 'cozy', pigeons call it a missed opportunity.
Malta
Local News Website Now Requires 14 Permissions Before You Can Read A Headline
Readers must grant ad_storage, analytics_storage, personalization_storage and other permissions while waiting for the article to load like a festa queue.
Malta
Planning Authority Now Counts 'Sea' as Extra Bedroom to Help Developers
To speed up permits, developers can now list the Mediterranean as living space — conditions apply, obviously.
Malta
News Site Now Asks For Permission To Ask For Permission
The new double-consent popup reportedly makes readers feel both very safe and very confused, especially when it asks if it can remember that it already asked.
Malta
Government Spends €1.2M Consulting Public On Whether Public Consultation Should Continue
After decades of asking Maltese people what they think, state decides first to ask whether it should keep asking.
Malta
Malta Declares “I Accept” Official National Language; Children to Learn Clicking Before Ħobż
After years of consent banners and reflexive clicking, the government has elevated the habit to policy — iva, ara, and click away.
Malta
All of Malta Stuck on 'Just a moment...' Page, Government Declares Pause a National Holiday
A mysterious 'Just a moment...' screen froze browsers across the islands so officials told everyone to take a break, drink tea and sort their pastizzi.
Entertainment
Pitbull Announces Malta Concert, Bald Maltese Men Finally Feel Seen
For the first time in recorded history, a globally recognised bald man is coming to the island, and the chrome-domed community is not coping well.
Malta
Court Upholds Appeal Against Two 14-Storey Sliema Hotels; Planning Authority Approves 14 More To Keep Things Symmetrical
After judges said two towers couldn't go up, the Planning Authority responded with a perfectly logical plan: build fourteen instead.
Malta
Planning Authority Grants Permission for Balcony That Overlaps Neighbour's House, Says 'If It's On Paper It Exists'
A Valletta man woke up to find his neighbour's new balcony approved to sit half on his roof, and officials said the problem was solved because the drawing looked nice.
Malta
Planning Authority Declares Scaffold-Clad Msida 'Cultural Layering', Recommends More Bones For Towns
After a piece of Msida scaffolding briefly fell, the Planning Authority recommended installing additional scaffolding everywhere to 'preserve the Maltese skyline's authentic under-construction aesthetic.'
Culture
Government's 'Pastizzi Standardisation Initiative' causes national queue, ferry lane, and one scaffolding collapse
A serious decree, a leaked table of flakiness standards, and an islandwide panic-buying of pastizzi that has traffic wardens issuing crumbs as evidence.
Malta
Transport Ministry Announces Nationwide 'Roundabout-for-Pastizzi' Swap To Solve Traffic, Shortage Of Pastizzi Remains Confused
After months of gridlock and empty pastizzi boxes, ministers unveil a plan that somehow relocates the Gozo ferry to Sliema and turns Mdina into a drive-through pastizz hub.
Entertainment
Ta' Qali Declares Itself Independent Nation to Avoid Pitbull Concert Noise Complaints
Ta' Qali has seceded from Malta in a bold move to handle its concert complaints internally.
Malta
Pastizzi Shortage Enters Day 12: Nation on the Brink of Collapse
Experts warn that without immediate intervention, Maltese society as we know it may cease to function by Thursday.
Gozo
Gozo Ferry Arrives Exactly on Schedule; Passengers Hospitalised for Shock
At least fourteen passengers required medical attention after the MV Nikolaos arrived at Mġarr Harbour precisely when it was supposed to.
Malta
Man Finds Parking Spot in Sliema on First Try, Vatican Launches Investigation
The Vatican has dispatched a team of miracle investigators after a Birkirkara man parked in Sliema without circling the block even once.
Business
Lone Construction Crane Spotted Without Companion Crane; Authorities Fear It May Be Lost
Wildlife experts have been called in after a solitary crane was observed standing alone in Gżira, separated from its usual herd.
Foreigners
Foreign Resident Pronounces 'Ħ' Correctly, Granted Immediate Citizenship
A British expat living in Marsaskala stunned onlookers at a Wied il-Għajn bar by correctly pronouncing 'ħobż' on his first attempt.
Culture
Mqabba Festa Fireworks Heard from International Space Station, NASA Confirms
Astronauts aboard the ISS reported 'a series of loud bangs coming from the direction of a very small island' during Saturday's festa.
Crime
Sliema Parking Warden Wins 'Most Feared Person in Malta' Poll for Eighth Consecutive Year
The warden, known only as 'il-Multa,' has reportedly issued more fines than there are registered vehicles on the island.
Malta
Valletta Man Who Walks to Work Accused of Witchcraft by Colleagues
Co-workers report deep suspicion after discovering that Pawlu Micallef, 38, commutes to his office on foot in under ten minutes.
Entertainment
Frank the Singing Goat of Nadur Releases Debut Album, Already Outselling Local Artists
A Gozitan goat named Frank has topped the Malta music charts with his debut album 'Baa-rok and Roll,' recorded entirely in a field in Nadur.
Malta
Pastizzi Shortage Sparks Full-Scale Uprising in Marsa
Residents of Marsa have barricaded the main road and are refusing to negotiate until pastizzi supplies are restored to pre-crisis levels.
Culture
National Flower of Malta Officially Chosen: It's the Plastic Bag Caught in a Tree
After years of deliberation, a parliamentary committee has unanimously voted to recognise the plastic bag lodged in a carob tree as Malta's national flower.
Gozo
Azure Window Finally Back After Local Handyman 'Fixes It With Some Cement and Willpower'
A Gozitan handyman claims to have rebuilt the iconic Azure Window overnight using leftover construction materials and 'a lot of determination.'
Culture
Local Fishermen Find Magic Nets, Banning Seaweed to Cut Octopus Karaoke Talent
Maltese fishermen claim enchanted nets have resulted in a surge of octopus karaoke, prompting authorities to enact a seaweed ban.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares 'Pastizzi Pilates' as National Sport, Citizens Required to Juggle Pastries
In a bold move, the government believes fitness and dining can go hand-in-hand.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Fishing Boats, Citizens Finally Excited About Traffic
In a revolutionary move, the government thinks sailing is better than sitting in traffic.
Culture
Maltese Government Adopts ‘Sniff Test’ for New Laws, Pajjiż Mintuħa Celebrates
Public Health officials now evaluating laws based solely on their smell.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Kinnie on a Sunday a National Sport, Succeeds in Scaring Away Foreigners
New sport aims to attract tourists by combining Kinnie tasting with pastizzi eating.
Culture
Intense National Debate Results in Qassata Becoming Malta's Official Currency, Stray Cats Set Exchange Rate
In an unprecedented move, Malta now bases its economy on the beloved qassata pastry, thanks to our feline friends.
Culture
Maltese Government Moves All Public Holidays to Third Tuesday, Cat Influencers Approve
In a shocking twist, Malta decides every holiday should fall on the same day, pending feline approval.
Malta
'Maltese Delays' Time Zone Introduced: Now 45 Minutes Late is Officially On Time
In a move to manage expectations, the government rolls out a new time zone just for public transport.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares 'Bajtra vs. Karamelli' Day a Public Holiday for Serious Debates on Dessert Origins
To celebrate, citizens will engage in heated discussions as they consume prickly pear pastries and honey tarts.
Malta
Valletta Mayor Announces Plan to Turn Buses into Mobile Pastizzerias, Claims Traffic Will Smell Like Heaven
Public transport problems meet pastry cravings in a groundbreaking initiative.
Culture
Local Fisherman Claims Sentient Pastizzi Begged to be Deep-Fried, Now Everyone’s Questioning Life Choices
A fisherman from Sliema revolutionizes dining and philosophy with a talking pastizz.
Entertainment
Valletta Bakery Introduces New Pastizzi Filled with Hypothetical Scenarios for a Brighter Malta
Customers are confused but intrigued by the latest culinary innovation.
Culture
Malta Declares 3:33 PM The Official Time for All Public Holidays After Fortune Teller's Prediction
In a bold move, Malta's public holidays will now all coincide at 3:33 PM to boost tourism, say government officials.
Business
Maltese Government Requires Ferries to Transport 200,000 Liters of Seawater to 'Calm' Great Salted Fish
In a baffling move, Malta thinks seawater might solve its mythical fish problem.
Culture
Local Authorities Declare National Holiday for Gozitan Sheep Shearing Championship and Poetry Recital
Maltese sheep shearers now confirmed as cultural icons, poets, and fashion designers.
Business
Government Requires Limestone in Tuna Sandwiches for 'Extra Crunch' and Economic Growth
In an effort to boost the economy, Malta now mandates limestone in every new tuna sandwich recipe.
Culture
Retired Fishermen Offer 'Cappuccino Catching' Workshops, Claiming They Can Catch Fish and Brew Coffee at the Same Time
Local fishermen say they can revolutionize café culture one fish at a time.
Culture
Maltese Bus Drivers Now Tour Guides With Complimentary Pastizzi, Tourists Have Never Been Happier
In a daring new cultural plan, bus drivers are now turning into historical tour guides while serving pastizzi.
Malta
Maltese Government Announces Plan to Replace Buses with Gelato Trucks, Calls it 'High on Sugar, Low on Traffic'
Sweet news for commuters: Malta is trading in buses for gelato trucks to create a smoother, tastier journey.
Culture
Maltese Government Replaces Landmarks with Life-Sized Pastizzi to Attract Tourists
Flaky pastry declared more welcoming than ancient temples and fortifications.
Malta
Fish in Grand Harbour Declares Itself Minister of Sustainability, Demands More Pastizzi
A newly discovered fish takes on a political role, demanding environmental reforms while swimming in circles.
Foreigners
Maltese Government Offers 'Gelato Asylum' for Tourists to Escape Summer Heatwaves
In an unprecedented move, tourists can now apply for residency at gelato kiosks.
Malta
Maltese Fishermen Declare War on Seagulls After Rabbit Stew Vanishes, Claim Gourmet Chef Behind It
Local fishermen believe seagulls are stealing their recipes and flying to Gozo with secret culinary tips.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi a Cultural Heritage, Launches 'Pastry Patrol' to Enforce Respect
In a bizarre twist, the Maltese government aims to honor pastizzi while monitoring your pastry consumption.
Culture
Kombucha Party Proposes €800 Million Plan to Make Azure Window Malta's National Beverage
A refreshing twist on the national drink: Now with natural limestone flavor!
Business
Government Solves Traffic Woes by Powering Buses with Residents' Belly Button Lint
Maltese authorities declare lint as the key to cleaner streets and less traffic.
Malta
Local Fishermen Swap Nets for WiFi Routers, Claim Fish Tinder is the New Catch
Fishermen believe social media is the key to hooking fish these days.
Entertainment
Local Fishermen Start Singing to Fish, Now Fish Can't Swim But Can Dance the Tarantella
Fishermen claim traditional folk songs are the new bait, leaving fish utterly confused.
Culture
Triton Fountain Announces Candidacy for Mayor, Promises 500% Gelato Budget Increase
In a surprising splash, Valletta's iconic fountain seeks to run the city, insisting it can lower sea levels and boost gelato funds.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares 'Spaghetti Snail' National Dish, Sparks Extensive Garden Decor Controversy
In a bold move, the government believes it has found the ultimate solution to pasta shortages and slow cooking.
Culture
Maltese Fishermen Offer Free Drone Rides to Tourists for Fish Guts, Claiming It Improves Rabbit Stew Flavour
In a bizarre new trend, local fishermen believe fish guts can enhance traditional rabbit stew and are using drones to lure tourists.
Malta
Government Declares All Buses to Run on Pastizzi Leftovers; Traffic Jams Now Smell Like Heaven
In a bold move, the Maltese government aims to fuel public buses with delectable pastizzi scraps, causing a surge in traffic as drivers stop to enjoy the aroma.
Entertainment
Maltese Government Opens World’s First Underwater Band Club, Fish to Join in Twerking
Tourists can now enjoy live music while surrounded by body-surfing fish in the Mediterranean.
Culture
Maltese Government Introduces Mandatory 'Festa Attire' Dress Code for Civil Servants
In a bid to boost morale, Malta's civil servants must now don sequined shawls and carry pastizzi at work.
Culture
Fishermen Declare War on Plastic Bags, Hold 'Best Catch' Competition for Junk
Maltese fishermen are taking a stand against floating plastic bags, now competing for the top prize of a golden tire.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with Feast Celebrations, Traffic Chaos Expected
From now on, every road crossing will be a village festa with pastizzi and band performances.
Culture
Mdina Declared No-Cliché-Memes Zone After Tourists Forget Malta Has Anything but Sun and Fun
Mayor takes a stand against repetitive social media posts as tourists complain about the silence.
Malta
Government Announces All New Roads to be Paved with Leftover Pastizzi for Snack Economy Boost
In a shocking move, Malta aims to tackle inflation and hunger with a culinary construction plan.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Mandatory Swimming Competitions at Every Feast to Drown Out Band Marches
New regulations aim to keep the noise of band marches under water while locals practice their strokes.
Culture
Maltese Government to Genetically Engineer Pigeons to Produce Glitter for Not-So-Silent-Prayer Festival
Birds in Valletta to glitter up streets and throw confetti while saving the planet.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares All Future Public Holidays Best Celebrated Eating Pastizzi Underwater
In a bold move to unite the nation, citizens must now dive for their pastizzi.
Business
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi New Official Currency, Everyone Now Millionaire
Citizens are in a frenzy to evaluate the value of their leftover pastizzi dough.
Malta
Government Offers Free Pastizzi for Citizens Who Swap Cars for Ċanga Carts
In a bid to promote sustainable transport, Maltese government encourages citizens to ride horse carts, rewarding them with free pastizzi and discounts on paella.
Malta
Valletta Parking Studies Show Yelling Like ‘The Godfather’ Lands More Spaces
Researchers find shouting boosts your parking argument game by a mile.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi Now Come with a Side of Historical Revisionism
Next pastry festival to feature flavors like 'Napoleon's Regret' and 'The Great Siege of 1565's Jelly'.
Culture
New National Holiday Declared for Arguing Over Empty Pastizzi Boxes, Complete with Workshops
Government declares arguing over pastizzi boxes a national sport.
Culture
Maltese Village Declares Independence for National Pastizzi Holiday, Citing 'Serious Snack Needs'
Residents want two months off to honour their love for pastizzi and introduce a new currency.
Culture
Local Fisherman Catches Legendary Maltese Kraken, Only to Find Out It’s a Giant Bag of Pastizzi
Fisherman excitedly claims sea monster, but it’s just leftover village festa food.
Business
Maltese Government Replaces Euro With Pastizzi to Boost Economy, Citizens Urged to Start Hoarding
In an unexpected twist, Malta replaces its currency with pastizzi for greater economic stability.
Malta
New Traffic Light Replacement Initiative Features Gbejna, Drivers Now Can Snack and Stack
Government claims chewy cheese will make streets safer and tastier.
Culture
Local Fisherman Invents 'Squid-Scented Sunscreen' to Repel Sunburn and Tourists After Spa Snub
In the wake of rejection from a trendy St. Julian's spa, one fisherman claims victory with his unique sunscreen.
Culture
Maltese Government to Replace Street Lamps with Pastizzi Stands for 'Light and Nourishment'
In a shocking move, the government believes pastizzi can solve power outages and dinner time.
Culture
Maltese Government Trains Cats as Official Pigeon Diplomats, Diplomacy at Its Fuzziest
In a shocking twist, Malta turns to cats for peace as pigeons and felines feud over Valletta rooftops.
Culture
Local Fishermen Plan World’s First Underwater Pastizzi Shop, Say Cheese Will Outsell Azure Window
Fishermen believe submerged pastries could lure tourists like never before.
Culture
Scientists Shocked as Prickly Pear Grants Maltese Fluency, But Only with L-Istrina Jumper and Full Moon
Fields of farmers now offer a new health craze that requires specific attire and timing.
Business
Maltese Government Promotes Jellyfish Jelly From Marsamxett as Next Superfood
Tourists can finally enjoy the taste of polluted Mediterranean waters, one jelly at a time!
Business
Maltese Government Announces Replacement of Buses with Trained Seagulls to Solve Transport Crisis
Uwejjah! Malta's public transport is about to take flight, quite literally.
Malta
Maltese Government Installs Giant Umbrellas Over Valletta, Creates Perfect Conditions for Winter Sunbathing and Sand Cakes
Winter sunbathing paired with artisanal espresso sand cakes is now a reality in Valletta.
Culture
Local Fisherman Accidentally Makes Fish-Flavored Pastizzi, Sparks National Outrage Over Tinned Tuna Prices
A fisherman’s blunder has everyone asking: Is this genius or a scam?
Malta
Maltese Government Converts Traffic Lights in Valletta into Permanent 'Liere' Signs for Ultimate Driver Confusion
In a shocking move, Valletta's traffic lights will now just say 'Liere' to keep drivers guessing.
Malta
Government Declares All Cats Must Pass Maltese Language Exam or Face Deportation
Maltese cats are now required to learn Maltese or risk being sent abroad.
Culture
Maltese Fishermen Unveil Pastizzi-Powered Fishing Nets, Seagulls Demand Higher Wages
Innovative fishermen claim new nets catch fish and serve snacks to seagulls.
Gozo
Maltese Government Officially Sanctions Tarzan Lookalike Contest to Attract Tourists, Wildlife Disappointed
In a shocking twist, Gozo's Tarzan Lookalike Contest to be a government-endorsed event, leaving local pigeons in dismay.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares National Pastizzi Day; Tourists Must Dance Before Entering Bakeries
To celebrate pastizzi, tourists will now be required to perform a ceremonial dance mimicking the flaky pastry's layers.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Għana Performances, Traffic Fines Instantly Decrease
In a revolutionary move, the Maltese government believes folk music will fix public transport and air quality.
Malta
Maltese Government Declares All Public Holidays on Floating Ship for Fireworks and Pastizzi
In a bold move, the government seeks to combine two national treasures: fireworks and pastizzi.
Culture
Malta Officially Declares Donkey Braying as National Language; First 'Donkey Dialect Festival' Set for Next Month
Donkey braying is now recognized as an official language, ensuring a future of baffling conversations and a new surge in tourism.
Culture
Local Fishermen Declare National Holiday After Finding Fish That Sings 'L-Iżbark tal-Ħobż', Mdina Cat Out of Job
A rare singing fish has fishermen celebrating while the government contemplates a tourism mascot shake-up.
Culture
Local Fisherman Finds St. Paul's 'Lost' Net, Declares Seaweed a Religious Landmark
Tourists flock to ‘Holy Ground’ to see rock where net allegedly got stuck during divine fishing trip.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Holiday for 47th Anniversary of Grass Growth at Ħaġar Qim
Nationwide celebrations include barbecues and the debut of grass-infused pastizzi.
Malta
Maltese Government Solves Tomato Shortage by Planting Them on Buses During Rush Hour
Introducing the Tomato Express: fresh salsa served with your morning commute.
Malta
Maltese Government Announces All Documents in Dialect, Pensioners Now Learning 'Għawdex-ese'
In a stunning move, the government decides only dialect will do, leaving pensions in a state of confusion.
Malta
Maltese Government Mandates Cooling Benches, Sunbather Licenses Soar
All public benches in Malta will now cool off thanks to the body heat of sunbathers.
Malta
New National Sport Declared as Marsa Parking Chaos Approved for ‘Golden Pastizzeria’ Trophy
Maltese government thinks chaos in parking can be a sport - now with trophies!
Business
Maltese Government Appoints ‘Ġbejna Ambassador’; Debate Erupts Over Plain or Peppered Cheese
The national conversation heats up as Malta prepares to send its beloved ġbejna to Italy.
Culture
University of Malta Discovers Pastizzi Packed with 47% More Wisdom, Citizens Demand New PM Made Out of Pastry
A new scientific revelation leaves Maltese citizens pondering the potential of an edible Prime Minister.
Culture
Fisherman Uncovers ‘Goldfish Vallet’, Sparks National Debate over Fish-conomy Regulations
A local fisherman stumbles upon a treasure trove of plastic cutlery, igniting discussions about aquatic investment practices.
Culture
Maltese Government Mandates Pastizzi Be Served With a Side of Historical Grievances
In an unprecedented move, every pastizzerija must now include unresolved issues with their pastries.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Mandatory 'Siesta Saturdays' to Boost Productivity Through Naps
New law requires all citizens to sleep 48 hours straight every weekend to improve efficiency.
Culture
Maltese Government to Convert Mdina Catacombs into a 5-Star Disco, DJ to Be Made of Limestone
In a shocking twist, Mdina’s historic catacombs will soon feature strobe lights and underground rave parties.
Culture
Maltese Government To Base All Decisions on Future 'Pastizzi Olympics' Results
Pastizzi eating contests linked to national policy as debate on fishing regulations heats up.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with Festa Lanterns to Boost Driving Skills
New initiative aims to create confusion and improve summer driving finesse.
Culture
Maltese Parliament Declares Festa-Buffet National Sport, Locals Expect Olympic Glory in Pastizzi Eating
Citizens are now urged to train hard for upcoming village celebrations, with pastizzi as the main sport.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with Gelato Flavors for Safer Roads and More Tourists
Drivers can now stop for Mint Choc Chip and go for Stracciatella, claims the Minister.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Traffic Lights with 'Iriżgħa' Hand Gestures to Reduce Road Rage
Drivers now interpret life’s meaning with a wave, a flick, and a full-body shimmy.
Culture
Marsaxlokk Declares Fishing Nets as National Sport, Seagulls Named Referees
Local fishermen now compete to see who can cast a net the fastest, while seagulls watch closely.
Malta
Government Declares Buses Will Now Run on Prunes to Alleviate Traffic Congestion, Commuters Baffled Yet Enthusiastic
Liberation from traffic jams is now just a fiber supplement away.
Culture
Local Authorities Propose Underwater Carnival at Azure Window, Swimwear Mandatory
Valletta's newest attraction: an immersive experience that guarantees soggy fun.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Three-Minute Pharmacy Queue as Cultural Heritage Site
Local tourism gets a boost as Valletta's famed pharmacy queue is now a 'must-see' attraction.
Culture
Maltese Government Mandates Cathedrals to Become Pastizzi Shops, Clergy to Bake and Pray
Divine pastries are on the menu as Malta fights its pastizzi crisis.
Culture
Study Finds Maltese Cats Now Better at Returning Stolen Pastizzi Than Police
A new study reveals that Maltese cats are outpacing the police in the recovery of stolen pastizzi.
Business
Local Fisherman Reels in Vintage Car, Demands Government Subsidy for Fishing Boat Transformation
Uwejj, who needs petrol when you can fish with style?
Culture
Maltese Government Revives Pastizzi Duel to Combat Foreign Fast Food Invasion
National pride and pastry consumption unite in a new sport nobody asked for.
Business
Maltese Government Replaces Parking Meters with Fenkata Stands to Solve Traffic Woes
Traffic congestion solved: just eat rabbit stew while you wait!
Culture
Government Mandates Pastizzi Vendors Take Flipping Classes to Avoid 'Flaccid Crusts'
In a bid to preserve Maltese heritage, politicians have decided that poor pastry skills aren't just a matter of taste, but of national pride.
Culture
Maltese Pigeons File Lawsuit for Festival Rights, Demand Pastizzi and Fireworks
In a historic case, a coalition of pigeons demands their own festa, complete with fireworks and local delicacies.
Culture
Maltese Scientists Confirm: Standing on One Leg While Eating Pastizzi Doubles Lottery Winning Odds
Nationwide contest launches as locals rush to combine pastizzi with their balance skills.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares National Rock-Potato Day, Citizens Confused But Excited
The holiday celebrates the historic moment when a potato was mistaken for a rock on Gozo.
Culture
Maltese Parliament Declares 'Kinnie Break' as Official Holiday, Conversation Ban Enforces Pastizzi Interaction
Citizens can now enjoy Kinnie by the sea, but be careful not to mention any other food.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Public Holiday for Giant Snails After They Outpoll Football Team
In a historic move, snails have officially eclipsed soccer in Malta's heart.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Luzzu Boats, Claims Traffic Jams Promote National Unity
Seasickness declared a new source of Maltese pride as government acknowledges reality of 3-hour bus delays.
Business
Maltese Government Replaces Luzzu Boats with Drone Marzipan Nets to Attract Tourists
Forget the sea; the future of fishing in Malta is marzipan and drones!
Foreigners
Local Man Blames Traffic Jam on Foreigners, Proposes New Law to Sent Him Back
Mizzi declares he can see the link between foreigners and road congestion.
Culture
Maltese Traffic Jam Declared National Heritage Site; Future Generations will Visit for Educational Purposes
A once mundane traffic jam is now revered as a cultural landmark, sparking debates on preservation and pastizzi shortages.
Business
Maltese Government Introduces 'Cisk Currency' for Transactions Over €10, Promises Boost to Recycling and 'Local Culture'
In a bold initiative, empty beer cans will soon serve as currency alongside the Euro.
Culture
New National Sport: Watching Buses Try to Park in Valletta
Maltese citizens now gathering in numbers to witness the thrilling spectacle.
Malta
Maltese Family Arrives at Dingli Cliffs, Claims They're Already Lost
A local family managed to get lost while navigating the only road to the most famous cliffs in Malta.
Business
Maltese Government Constructs Giant Catapult to Launch Tourists to Gozo, Seagulls Unimpressed
In an absurd bid to revolutionize travel, Malta introduces a catapult for tourist boats.
Culture
Maltese Government Declares Pastizzi a National Sport, Citizens Must Compete Monthly
To boost national morale, every Maltese must now eat pastizzi competitively, or face hefty fines.
Gozo
Maltese Man Claims He Can Swim to Gozo, Wins Bet but Ends Up Just Floating on Inflatable Pastizzi
After claiming he could make the swim, Tumas discovered a new way to travel after all.
Culture
Maltese Scientists Brew Beer From ħobż, Only to Find Everyone Wants It with Pastizzi
Scientists discover revolutionary beer made from bread; residents demand it be paired exclusively with tuna pastizzi.
Malta
Maltese Parliament Renames Sunday to 'Pastizzi Day', Fines Anyone Who Skips Three Pastizzi
In a historic decision, Malta declares Sunday a mandatory pastizzi consumption day.
Culture
New Traffic Light Colors Introduced to Represent Maltese Emotions: ‘Aħmar for Anger, Għasel for Happiness’
Local authorities unveil a groundbreaking plan to redefine traffic lights based on feelings.
Culture
Maltese Village Breaks World Record for Slowest Gozo Ferry Crossing Amid Protest for Faster Pastizzi Service
Residents take matters into their own hands as they paddle alongside the ferry, demanding urgent pastizzi deliveries.
Culture
Maltese Government Introduces 'Quiet Zone' at Festas: Bands to Play Only Underwater for Fish
In an effort to protect local fish, Maltese festas will now feature underwater bands in designated 'Quiet Zones'.
Culture
Local Man Refuses To Leave Bar Until It Starts Selling Pastizzi, Declares Himself ‘Culinary Activist’
Pawlu is taking a stand for late-night snacks, one beer at a time.
Malta
Valletta Mayor Sets Traffic Lights to Green to Encourage ‘Mediterran-easy’ Driving, Chaos Ensues
Motorists are now left to rely on luck and prayers while driving through Valletta.
Gozo
Man Discovers That Gozo Ferry Is Actually Just a Giant, Floating Pastizz
Maltese tourists shocked as ferry resembles their favorite snack more than they realized.
Culture
Malta Announces New National Sport: Queueing for Pastizzi
Government declares pastizzi queueing an official time-suck.
Culture
Maltese Scientists Find Pastizzi Recipe is Alien, Demand Nationwide Search for Extraterrestrial Bakers
A shocking discovery reveals pastizzi might not be from Malta, but from outer space.
Culture
Local Fisherman Finds Singing Jellyfish, Nation Divided Between Karaoke Bars and Festa Stage
A new Marine musical sensation is causing chaos over where it should perform.
Malta
Government Announces Mandatory Street Name Change to Pastizzi Flavors, Debate Erupts Over 'Tikka Chicken' vs 'Surprise Egg'
In a bold move, the Maltese government hopes to spice up navigation with savory street names, igniting a national flavor crisis.
Culture
Maltese Dolphins Form Union, Demand to Attend Village Festas and Fireworks Like Good Tourists
Sliema’s dolphins want a turn at the cannon fire, claiming they’ve done more for tourism than any foreigner.
Culture
Maltese Cats Declare Independence, Demand Paid Naps and Unlimited Tuna Buffets
In a move that has shocked owners everywhere, cats have officially formed their own republic.
Culture
Maltese Government Mandates Silly Maltese Language for Total National Confusion
In a bold move, citizens will now speak in pastizzi orders and cow moos.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Streetlights with Giant Pastizzi to Ensure Snacking After Dark
In a move to revolutionize late-night munchies, all streetlights in Malta are becoming delicious pastries.
Malta
Maltese Hammer Runs for President, Promises to 'Nail' the Competition
In an unprecedented move, a local hammer has announced its candidacy for the presidency.
Sports
Maltese Man Creates New National Sport: Longest Wait at Traffic Lights
Residents now compete to beat their own records at red lights.
Culture
Maltese Scuba Divers Find Ancient Pizza Ovens, Nation Debates Which Topping to Add Next
Ancient pizza ovens found underwater sparks urgent discussions about UNESCO and olives.
Culture
Government Declares National Holiday for 'L-Ikkalza tal-Pastizzi' — Citizens to Balance Bread and Calories
Hold onto your pastizzi, Malta! A new holiday requires residents to juggle culinary delight and culinary disaster.
Culture
Malta Unveils Mandatory Cooking Classes for Cats, Future of Pastizzi at Stake
In a bizarre twist, the government believes cats hold the key to optimal pastizzi preparation.
Business
Maltese Government Declares 'Pastizzollar' as Official Currency, Citizens Now Pay in Flaky Pastry
In a bold move, Malta has traded euros for deliciousness, making pastizzi the new money.
Malta
Maltese Government Replaces Buses with Luzzu Boats: Traffic Reduced by 100%, Along with Any Chance of Reaching Your Destination
In a daring maneuver to combat traffic jams, Malta opts for the sea over roads, despite the smell of fish.
Malta
Żurrieq Deputises Retired Bus Driver to Fire Pastizzi From Cherry-Picker as 'Austerity Rockets'
With fireworks cancelled, the parish council quietly hired a retired driver to launch pastizzi from a cherry-picker — now there's a police probe, two pastoral letters and an EU tasting delegation.
Culture
Marsaxlokk Fishermen Ask UNESCO to Save Luzzijiet Eyes From Scandinavian Decal Invasion
After a wave of minimalist Airbnb hosts started peeling painted eyes off luzzijiet and replacing them with calm, geometric stickers, local fishermen formally petitioned UNESCO to grant the eyes protected status.
Malta
PMO Orders Valletta, Marsaxlokk And Ħamrun Balconies To Display Towel, Rosary And Pastizzi To Calibrate Festa Passive‑Aggression
After months of terrace wars, the government says a rolled towel, a rosary and a municipally stamped pastizzi will finally let neighbours argue with proper etiquette.
Malta
Entire Maltese Internet Now One Giant Cookie Banner, Everyone Keeps Clicking 'Accept'
After a successful tech consolidation, Maltese people now navigate the web by reflexively accepting one huge banner that covers everything, including their dinner and the ferry timetable.
Malta
Żejtun Introduces 14:14 Pastizz Pause — Offending Drivers Must Eat, Salute Statue, Apologise to Fiat 500
After a ferocious festa parking war, the band club and parish beadle signed a binding pact forcing offending drivers to stop at 14:14, eat a pastizz, salute the statue and tuck a handwritten apology under the wiper of whichever Fiat 500 is blocking the chapel.
Malta
Transport Malta Replaces Every Roundabout With A Scheduled Festa, Drivers Told To Bring Dancing Shoes And Spare Pastizzi
Transport Malta says festa-roundabouts will improve traffic flow, settle lane disputes with għana, and allow marshals to revoke licences between taralli and brass band.
Malta
Maltese News Site Now Requires Consent to Read That It Requires Consent
After a routine update the website now asks for permission to open the permission dialog, trapping readers in a polite but endless loop of buttons and 'I agree' clicks.
Malta
Government Creates Minister for Pastizzi and Peace to Legally Rota Fishermen, Tour Boats and Karaoke Aunties
After a summer of nightly luzzu karaoke in Marsaxlokk the government says a legally binding rota will finally stop boats and aunties from duetting over pastizzi.
Malta
Valletta Declares Every Wooden Balcony 'Festa Heritage Seating', Owners Must Rent Them to Band and Leave One Broken Mop and Half‑Eaten Ftira Each
A quiet council vote redefines balconies as communal festa infrastructure, triggering acute mop scarcity and an urgent call for ftira authenticity certificates.
Malta
Valletta Sells 20cm of Air Between Gallariji; First Buyer Pays Three Pastizzi and a Tallinja Card
Council quietly recognised tiny gaps between traditional gallariji as transferable private property, prompting electricians to sell notarised 'air deeds' in 20cm strips.
Culture
Għarb Bans Midnight Pastizzi to Fireworks Crews After Ricotta Crumbs Make Statues Nod During Għana
Council says late-night pastizzi deliveries were 'altering the village rhythm' and causing statues to express mild, passive-aggressive disapproval.
Culture
Qormi Bakers Get Pastizzi Declared 'Living Monuments'; PM Now Must Inspect Flakiness Annually
After a months-long campaign, Qormi bakers convinced the government to declare pastizzi 'living national monuments', obliging the Prime Minister to conduct annual flakiness inspections, the Heritage Agency to issue humidity warnings, and Gozo ferries to reserve an emergency pastry cabin.
Malta
Malta Clicked 'Accept All' At Once, Country Now Owned by Two Companies and a Script
In a rare moment of unity, every Maltese clicked 'Accept All', handing over their data, their hobbies, and possibly Marsa's roundabout to advertisers.
Malta
Government to Tow Drifting Russian LNG Tanker to Manoel Island, Open Padel Courts and Stabbilta Kiosk
After weeks of contingency planning, ministers said repurposing the tanker will solve energy worries, parking shortages and the national pastizzi deficit — all at once.
Malta
Local Man Spends 45 Minutes Finding Parking, Now Too Afraid To Leave Café In Case He Loses The Spot
Karmenu has been sitting at the same table since 9am, ordering coffee after coffee, waiting for a moment that experts say may never come.
Malta
Government Forms Committee To Decide Which Committee Should Form Next
A unanimous, carefully scheduled panel will meet to study whether more panels are needed to study panels.
Malta
Valletta Orders Pastizziera on Every New Gallarija After Pensioners Call Balconies 'Our Last Communal Oven' — Seagulls File Appeal
The Planning Authority quietly added a rule forcing a municipal pastizziera with a council‑approved ricotta dial to every new gallarija after a deputation of pensioners argued balconies are 'our last communal oven', a move immediately contested by the port's seagull cooperative.
Culture
Mdina Now Sells Silence: Pastizz, Candle and Correct 'għawdxi' Required or You Join the Banda
The city's parish committee voted unanimously that tourists may only admire Mdina's silence after buying a pastizz, lighting a votive candle, and pronouncing 'għawdxi' correctly — mistakes mean an immediate stint with the local band club.
Malta
Spinola Roundabout to Rotate 2° a Night to 'Improve' Balluta Bay Sunsets, Residents Must Remove Laundry and Pay in Pastizzi
Transport Malta will turn Spinola Roundabout two extra degrees counterclockwise each night, telling locals to recalibrate alarm clocks, take down balcony socks at sundown and bring pastizzi for the viewing levy.
Malta
Qormi’s Oldest Oven Registered as Microstate After Its Ftira Starts Issuing Parking Tickets
A ftira with strong opinions about illegal parking led the Ministry of Heritage to quietly grant sovereignty to Qormi’s communal oven after a carrier pigeon complaint from the Transport Authority.
Malta
Marsaxlokk Fishermen Withhold Anchovies From Pastizzerias Until Ferries Play 25‑Minute Għana Duet
The fishermen's cooperative says no anchovies in pastizzi until Transport Malta recognises their new national anthem — a 25‑minute għana performed under festa bunting before every ferry.
Foreigners
215 Maltese in Middle East Ask Consulate for Help — All They Needed Was Directions to a Pastizzeria
Government proud to report successful diplomatic operation that reunited Maltese abroad with their favourite snack, or at least with a Google Maps pin.
Malta
Abela Announces Election Date Will Be 'When The Ferries Start Running On Time'
Prime Minister says country not ready for polls until Gozo ferry schedule achieves national stability.
Culture
Malta Declares Clicking 'I Accept' On Every Website A National Sport
New scheme trains citizens to scroll, tick, and click through 37 consent boxes while drinking kahwa and eating pastizzi.
Malta
Government Declares Entire Country a Single Parking Spot to Finally Solve Crisis
New law reclassifies every inch of Maltese territory as one legal parking space — immediately ends tickets, creates philosophical debate about where to leave your pastizzi.
Malta
Entire Malta Clicks 'Accept All', Now Getting Ads For Their Regrets
After a weekend of unanimous consent, Maltese phones have started politely suggesting products that perfectly match citizens' most embarrassing moments.
Malta
Budget 2026: Government Solves 'Dignified Living' By Making Everyone A Landlord
New measure reclassifies residents as landlords so official statistics finally show a 'dignified standard of living'.
Malta
Parliament Puts 'Accept Cookies' Banner On House Floor, MPs Click Agree And Vote For Everything
Speaker installs website-style consent banner across the chamber to speed up law-making; MPs admit they never read the options.
Malta
Planning Authority Approves Apartment Block With No Windows To 'Encourage Community', Buyers Call It Open-Plan
Developers say removing windows will force neighbours to socialise; buyers call it 'cozy', pigeons call it a missed opportunity.
Malta
Local News Website Now Requires 14 Permissions Before You Can Read A Headline
Readers must grant ad_storage, analytics_storage, personalization_storage and other permissions while waiting for the article to load like a festa queue.
Malta
Planning Authority Now Counts 'Sea' as Extra Bedroom to Help Developers
To speed up permits, developers can now list the Mediterranean as living space — conditions apply, obviously.
Malta
News Site Now Asks For Permission To Ask For Permission
The new double-consent popup reportedly makes readers feel both very safe and very confused, especially when it asks if it can remember that it already asked.
Malta
Government Spends €1.2M Consulting Public On Whether Public Consultation Should Continue
After decades of asking Maltese people what they think, state decides first to ask whether it should keep asking.
Malta
Malta Declares “I Accept” Official National Language; Children to Learn Clicking Before Ħobż
After years of consent banners and reflexive clicking, the government has elevated the habit to policy — iva, ara, and click away.
Malta
All of Malta Stuck on 'Just a moment...' Page, Government Declares Pause a National Holiday
A mysterious 'Just a moment...' screen froze browsers across the islands so officials told everyone to take a break, drink tea and sort their pastizzi.
Entertainment
Pitbull Announces Malta Concert, Bald Maltese Men Finally Feel Seen
For the first time in recorded history, a globally recognised bald man is coming to the island, and the chrome-domed community is not coping well.
Malta
Court Upholds Appeal Against Two 14-Storey Sliema Hotels; Planning Authority Approves 14 More To Keep Things Symmetrical
After judges said two towers couldn't go up, the Planning Authority responded with a perfectly logical plan: build fourteen instead.
Malta
Planning Authority Grants Permission for Balcony That Overlaps Neighbour's House, Says 'If It's On Paper It Exists'
A Valletta man woke up to find his neighbour's new balcony approved to sit half on his roof, and officials said the problem was solved because the drawing looked nice.
Malta
Planning Authority Declares Scaffold-Clad Msida 'Cultural Layering', Recommends More Bones For Towns
After a piece of Msida scaffolding briefly fell, the Planning Authority recommended installing additional scaffolding everywhere to 'preserve the Maltese skyline's authentic under-construction aesthetic.'
Culture
Government's 'Pastizzi Standardisation Initiative' causes national queue, ferry lane, and one scaffolding collapse
A serious decree, a leaked table of flakiness standards, and an islandwide panic-buying of pastizzi that has traffic wardens issuing crumbs as evidence.
Malta
Transport Ministry Announces Nationwide 'Roundabout-for-Pastizzi' Swap To Solve Traffic, Shortage Of Pastizzi Remains Confused
After months of gridlock and empty pastizzi boxes, ministers unveil a plan that somehow relocates the Gozo ferry to Sliema and turns Mdina into a drive-through pastizz hub.
Entertainment
Ta' Qali Declares Itself Independent Nation to Avoid Pitbull Concert Noise Complaints
Ta' Qali has seceded from Malta in a bold move to handle its concert complaints internally.
Malta
Pastizzi Shortage Enters Day 12: Nation on the Brink of Collapse
Experts warn that without immediate intervention, Maltese society as we know it may cease to function by Thursday.
Gozo
Gozo Ferry Arrives Exactly on Schedule; Passengers Hospitalised for Shock
At least fourteen passengers required medical attention after the MV Nikolaos arrived at Mġarr Harbour precisely when it was supposed to.
Malta
Man Finds Parking Spot in Sliema on First Try, Vatican Launches Investigation
The Vatican has dispatched a team of miracle investigators after a Birkirkara man parked in Sliema without circling the block even once.
Business
Lone Construction Crane Spotted Without Companion Crane; Authorities Fear It May Be Lost
Wildlife experts have been called in after a solitary crane was observed standing alone in Gżira, separated from its usual herd.
Foreigners
Foreign Resident Pronounces 'Ħ' Correctly, Granted Immediate Citizenship
A British expat living in Marsaskala stunned onlookers at a Wied il-Għajn bar by correctly pronouncing 'ħobż' on his first attempt.
Culture
Mqabba Festa Fireworks Heard from International Space Station, NASA Confirms
Astronauts aboard the ISS reported 'a series of loud bangs coming from the direction of a very small island' during Saturday's festa.
Crime
Sliema Parking Warden Wins 'Most Feared Person in Malta' Poll for Eighth Consecutive Year
The warden, known only as 'il-Multa,' has reportedly issued more fines than there are registered vehicles on the island.
Malta
Valletta Man Who Walks to Work Accused of Witchcraft by Colleagues
Co-workers report deep suspicion after discovering that Pawlu Micallef, 38, commutes to his office on foot in under ten minutes.
Entertainment
Frank the Singing Goat of Nadur Releases Debut Album, Already Outselling Local Artists
A Gozitan goat named Frank has topped the Malta music charts with his debut album 'Baa-rok and Roll,' recorded entirely in a field in Nadur.
Malta
Pastizzi Shortage Sparks Full-Scale Uprising in Marsa
Residents of Marsa have barricaded the main road and are refusing to negotiate until pastizzi supplies are restored to pre-crisis levels.
Culture
National Flower of Malta Officially Chosen: It's the Plastic Bag Caught in a Tree
After years of deliberation, a parliamentary committee has unanimously voted to recognise the plastic bag lodged in a carob tree as Malta's national flower.
Gozo
Azure Window Finally Back After Local Handyman 'Fixes It With Some Cement and Willpower'
A Gozitan handyman claims to have rebuilt the iconic Azure Window overnight using leftover construction materials and 'a lot of determination.'