VALLETTA — A Maltese man, known only as Karmenu, has unofficially established a new national sport: the Longest Wait at Traffic Lights. Karmenu’s obsession began when he found himself waiting at a red light for an astonishing 15 minutes during a taxi ride from Sliema to Valletta.
”I thought, if I’m suffering, I might as well make a game out of it!” Karmenu told reporters while sipping a Cisk and basking in the summer sun. “Now I’ve got my friends timing me on their phones. It’s intense, believe me!”
Local traffic authorities are baffled. “We just want people to cross safely,” said a traffic warden who asked for anonymity. “But if it distracts them from honking and shouting, maybe it’s a good thing?”
A recent survey showed that 7 out of 10 Maltese people prefer waiting at a traffic light over reading a newspaper. This raises questions about what exactly we do with all the time spent idling next to empty roundabouts.
At press time, Karmenu was seen waiting diligently at a traffic light, while shouting, “Uwejj, this is my best time yet!”