VALLETTA — The Ministry for Foreign Affairs confirmed today that its Consular Directorate provided assistance to 215 Maltese nationals in the Middle East, after the callers repeatedly explained they were ‘a bit lost’ and urgently required directions to the nearest pastizzeria.
Diplomacy, pastizzi-style
The ministry released a statement praising the consulate’s ‘swift, professional response’ to calls that, sources say, ranged from gentlemanly pleas for map coordinates to existential crises brought on by a sudden craving for a fresh pastizz.
”We take every request seriously,” said Karmenu Aquilina, a Consular Directorate official, as he handed out laminated Google Maps printouts and a pila of napkins. “Whether it’s a lost passport, a medical emergency, or a Maltese person in Dubai asking if there’s a pastizzeria that does ricotta, we will help. Uwejja, funding permitting."
"I was in Abu Dhabi and I couldn’t find a decent pastizz. I called and they sent me a PDF with walking directions and a motivational quote. It worked.”
According to internal logs, 97 of the callers were in Dubai, 65 in Riyadh, 28 in Doha, and the remaining 25 were scattered across various oil-rich mirages. Reasons for calling included: ‘Are pastizzi halal?’, ‘Can I eat ħobż biż-żejt on a plane?’, and the timeless ‘Which bakery has the crispiest layer on top?‘
Some callers used the opportunity to ask for further assistance, such as embassy contact numbers, translation help, and whether they could bring back a whole box of pastizzi through security. The consulate politely advised them to check airline rules and maybe, xi ħaġa, to share.
The ministry’s press release ended with a proud statistic and a helpful reminder: ‘215 Maltese assisted. Please remember to call home before you call us — your mother knows where the best pastizzeria is.’ Mela, who can argue with that?
At press time the consulate was reportedly designing a new service: ‘Consular Culinary Guidance,’ complete with an interactive map and a hotline for emergency pastizzi situations.