VALLETTA — A popular Maltese news website rolled out a revolutionary new consent system this morning: a popup that asks users if it can ask them another question, sources confirmed.
Layered reassurance
Visitors are now greeted by a sleek banner politely requesting permission to display a smaller modal which in turn requests permission to initialise trackers that will only track whether you allowed them to initialise. “It’s about transparency,” said a spokesman for the website, looking very transparent. “We want users to feel secure about being asked things, and then being asked about that asking. Iva, it’s modern.”
The new flow includes three clearly labelled steps: accept the first popup, accept the popup that asks you to accept the first popup, and accept a final checkbox that confirms you want your choice about the other two choices remembered. Users report spending between 12 and 37 minutes toggling sliders and re-reading phrases like “ad_personalization: denied (for now).” Uwejja, mela diga’?
”I clicked ‘Allow’ to the permission-to-ask, then clicked ‘Deny’ to the permission-to-remember my denial. I feel proud and slightly violated.”
Technical staff said the new system uses advanced technologies including localStorage, three analytics libraries, and something called ‘marfeel’ which everyone pretends to understand. The site also added a reassuring paragraph explaining why they need your permission to store the fact that you refused permission.
Foreign tourists were reportedly baffled when the popup offered to translate itself into Maltese, then asked for permission to translate. A Gozo ferry captain demanded to know if the sea also needed to give consent before waves could crash. Planning Authority officials are said to be considering whether the consent layers need their own planning permission.
Site administrators insisted the extra step reduced user anxiety by 0.0003%, and increased ad revenue by an amount accountants will not disclose.
At press time the website had introduced a sub-popup asking users if they’d like to be notified when the popup asks for permission to ask for permission again.