VALLETTA — In a decision that has left both drivers and chefs scratching their heads, the Maltese government announced today that it will be replacing all parking meters with traditional fenkata stands. Authorities claim this bold move will not only ease traffic congestion but will also increase rabbit stew sales during the notorious rush hours.
”We believe that nothing prompts action like the smell of freshly cooked fenkata combined with the growl of an empty stomach,” said Transport Minister Karmenu Camilleri. “If you’re stuck in traffic on Triq il-Kbira, why not enjoy a delicious plate of rabbit stew instead?” This decision has been met with mixed reactions, with some praising the government for its innovative thinking while others are worried about potential traffic hazards involving hungry drivers attempting to eat behind the wheel.
”I can’t believe I can’t park anymore. I just want to buy my pastizzi, not a rabbit!”
The plan marks the latest in a series of unusual government interventions aimed at addressing the island’s perennial traffic problems. In 2022, the Department of Infrastructure proposed using inflatable flamingos as temporary bus stops, claiming it would make commuting more fun. Perhaps inflated zeal has spurred them again?
Chefs Support the Move
Local chefs are not complaining. A representative from the Rabbit Stew Association, Pawlu Debono, praised the government, declaring, “This is a fantastic opportunity for our local cuisine! Fenkata during your commute could be the next big thing!” He also pushed for an accompanying drink, calling it ‘Rabbit-Quenchers,’ which, according to him, pairs perfectly with stew and driving.
The government also mentioned plans for drive-thru options where drivers can order by simply honking their horns. “We’ll even give you a free serving of capers if you can parallel park while ordering!” Camilleri added with a grin.
Critics, however, are skeptical. Marija, a local driver, said, “Uwejj, if I wanted a fenkata for lunch, I’d stop at the restaurant! I’m not about to buy stew on the go. What’s next, baklava in the bus lanes?”
This absurd initiative is expected to roll out within the next few weeks, with the first trial locations being Valletta’s famous Republic Street and St. Julian’s – known for its constant traffic and questionable culinary choices.
At press time, shoppers were seen accidentally ordering extra portions of rabbit stew as they attempted to parallel park under the new system.