SLIEMA — A group of local fishermen has announced plans to launch the world’s first underwater pastizzi shop, claiming that cheese-filled pastries submerged in the Mediterranean could attract more tourists than the Azure Window ever did.
”Aħna niżżilgħu l-pastizzi, mhux il-bastimenti!” said Karmenu, the mastermind behind the innovative idea. “Everyone loves pastizzi. But who doesn’t want them while snorkeling?” There’s something truly enchanting about eating pastry while battling with a school of fish, he added.
The shop, which will be located at a depth of 20 meters, is aimed at thrill-seeking tourists who can munch on pastizzi while dodging sea urchins. Plans also include a drive-thru for boats, because why wait to eat heavenly food?
Pastizzi on the Move
Not just an underwater decoration, Karmenu insists this culinary venture will boost Malta’s economy. “Imagine the Instagram potential! Pastizzi under the sea, what will they think of next? But we will ensure there’s no melf, only a bit of saltwater,” he affirmed. Our team asked Marija, a tourist from Italy, if she’d be interested. “Only if they have proper dip, otherwise I’m sticking to gelato.”, she replied.
The fishermen have obtained a grant from the Planning Authority, which praised innovation, despite recent objections about pesky jellyfish ruining the bread’s consistency.
“If we can do this, we can sell anything. Next stop, underwater ħobż biż-żejt!”
However, not everyone is on board with the idea. Zaren, a local parking warden, said, “How can I park a boat underwater? Do I need a special permit?”
At press time, the fishermen had yet to figure out a way to keep the pastries from dissolving. “We haven’t thought about the logistics yet,” Karmenu admitted, as he took a large bite of leftover pastizz while researching underwater baking techniques online.