VALLETTA — Uwejja! The Maltese government has officially introduced ‘Maltese Delays,’ a groundbreaking new time zone designed specifically for public transport schedules. In this innovative plan, all buses and ferries will now operate on a 45-minute delay, giving citizens a new reality to bank on.
Transport Minister Pawlu Micallef stated, ‘We realized that people were always angry at delays, so we thought, why not make them official? Now you can confidently tell your friends you’ll be on time when you leave 45 minutes late!’ The initiative aims to create harmony between expectations and reality, much like the constant traffic on the way to Valletta.
‘It’s fantastic! I’ve always felt a bit stressed when waiting for the bus. Now, I can arrive 45 minutes late and feel like I’m on time!’
This revolutionary adjustment comes after a series of studies that showed a staggering 98% of people regularly account for delays when making plans. As a result, the Planning Authority has also suggested extending the same logic to the Gozo ferry. ‘In a world where we can put a man on the moon, who says we can’t adjust time for convenience?’ claimed an anonymous source at the Authority.
Carmen, a local bus driver, expressed her approval. She stated, ‘This is great. I can take my time with a pastizz and a ħobż biż-żejt without worrying about the clock.’ Many are wondering if this new time zone will spread to private life, with people habitually arriving late to weddings and family gatherings now officially welcomed.
At press time, the government is considering making ‘Maltese Delays’ a world time zone standard, allowing for confusion in foreign air travel as well.