VALLETTA — In a shocking twist to the upcoming Maltese election, a hammer named ‘Karmenu’ has officially thrown its tool belt into the presidential race. After months of campaigning in various toolboxes around Malta, Karmenu promises to ‘nail’ the competition and ‘screw’ up traditional politics.
Karmenu’s campaign slogan, “Measure Twice, Hammer Once,” has caught the attention of many voters. Just yesterday, a survey revealed that 1 in 10 Maltese adults would rather vote for a hammer than the current politicians. One local, Marija, exclaimed, “Uwejj, I’d vote for a hammer! At least it would hit the nail on the head!”
The hammer’s campaign manager, Pawlu, explained, “We believe Karmenu embodies the spirit of hard work. Sometimes you need a proper hit to get things fixed!” Residents in Rabat plan to host a debate featuring Karmenu against a rubber mallet and a screwdriver. Supporters promise an entertaining evening full of puns and potential material for future decorators.
”It’s about time Malta gets a candidate with backbone!”
Meanwhile, the Planning Authority has granted Karmenu special permissions for a 300-unit tool shed in every district, should it win. Opponents claim this is a slippery slope to a nation dominated by home improvement.
At press time, Karmenu’s Facebook page had more likes than most of the current politicians combined, sparking discussions about whether tools could indeed run the country better than humans.