VALLETTA — In a shocking development, the Maltese government has officially mandated that all new recipes for tuna sandwiches must include at least one piece of local limestone rock. Officials claim this ‘secret ingredient’ will not only enhance the crunchiness of artisanal bread but also give a major boost to the economy.
”We realized that limestone is Malta’s true treasure, and it belongs in our culinary heritage!” said Minister for Culinary Innovations, Karmenu. “What better way to incorporate our national heritage than in a tuna sandwich?” This move follows months of research, which, according to sources, involved licking rocks and taste-testing stale sandwiches.
What’s Cooking in the Kitchen?
Local chefs are scratching their heads, but they also can’t ignore the potential for tourism. “Can you imagine the Instagram pictures? ‘Tuna Sandwich with a Crunch!’” exclaimed renowned chef Tumas while pointing at a piece of limestone. “We can charge extra for tourists who want to bite into a piece of our history!"
"This will put Malta on the culinary map!”
The government has even initiated a contest called ‘Rock Your Tuna’, inviting locals to submit their best limestone-infused tuna sandwich recipes. The winner will receive a supply of limestone rocks, a month’s supply of pastizzi, and a golden ladle for serving sandwiches in style.
At press time, the local Planning Authority is busy drafting regulations for the safe harvesting of limestone from local quarries, ensuring no one throws a rock at poor Marija who just wants her tuna sandwich in peace.