VALLETTA — In a move that has left many scratching their heads, the Maltese government announced today that all future public transport will be powered exclusively by the collective belly button lint of residents. Minister for Transport, Karmenu Sciberras, made the announcement during a press conference that can only be described as unique.
”This is a groundbreaking energy solution!” said Sciberras. “With our city choked by parked SUVs outside every pastizzi shop, it’s time we looked inwards—literally!” The government has proposed to place collection bins for belly button lint at local markets, ensuring a steady supply of this locally-sourced energy solution.
Sources say that after a pilot study concluded last year, engineers discovered that even a small amount of lint could generate sufficient energy to power a Maltese bus for an entire trip around Valletta. “One bus full of lint is better than one car full of pasta!” exclaimed Sciberras, waving his hands excitedly.
Public Reaction Uncertain
”I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. What’s next, cat fur?”
Residents have mixed feelings. While some are eager to contribute to the greater good, others are doubtful about the implications of lint collection. “I mean, how do we even collect that? You want me to show my belly button at the bus stop?” asked Pawlu, a retiree befuddled by the suggestion.
Experts suggest using some form of reward system to encourage participation. “Maybe a free pastizz with every donation?” proposed Zaren, an economist and part-time pastizzi enthusiast. “Nothing else would get the people going!“
The government plans to kick off their lint collection campaign next month, promising that all citizens will receive a complimentary sticker that reads, “Lint for the Planet!” The new bus line, to be called the Lint Express, is set to launch by year’s end, provided they can gather enough lint to fill the tanks.
At press time, the Planning Authority was still reviewing the regulations for belly button lint collection bins.