VALLETTA — In a move that no one saw coming, the Maltese government has officially declared a national holiday to celebrate the 47th anniversary of the Great Ħaġar Qim Grass Growth. This landmark event has prompted celebrations across the islands, featuring barbecues and the unveiling of a brand-new culinary delight: grass-infused pastizzi.
The announcement was made by Prime Minister Robert Abela, who encouraged all Maltese to gather and honour the grass that flourished in 1976 near the ancient temples. ‘For too long, we’ve taken our grass for granted. Today, we celebrate,’ Abela declared, clutching a giant pastizza stuffed with fresh basil and, yes, some grass.
Grass Takes Centre Stage
Local vendors have jumped on the trend, with stalls popping up in every village square, offering a variety of grass-flavoured BBQ dishes that range from burgers to sausages. ‘It’s about time we embraced our roots,’ said Karmenu, a hidden barbecue champion from Mellieħa. ‘Nothing screams Malta like grilling some grass.'
'Growing grass is our heritage and its time to celebrate it publicly.’
The scientific aspect of this discussion has also sparked controversy, with some questioning if the grass is even safe to eat. A local botanist, Carmelo, weighed in, ‘As long as it’s not from a roundabout or a traffic jam area, you should be fine. It’s green, it’s fresh.’ A lot of locals have taken this as a challenge to ‘source their own grass’ straight from the local fields.
As the holiday approaches, families are gearing up for the celebrations, with some already participating in illegal grass-growing contests. ‘I’m going for the biggest patch next year! Grass can represent freedom, you know?’ boasted a participant who wished to remain anonymous.
At press time, celebrations were expected to clog roads in all the popular towns, infuriating parking wardens who didn’t get the memo about the ‘grass is in’ festivity.