VALLETTA — In a bold initiative, the Maltese government has announced plans to replace all public transport with traditional Għana performances, insisting that the soothing melodies of local folk music will ensure a smoother commute and improve air quality by reducing vehicular emissions to zero.
Minister for Transport Karmenu Zarb explained, “Why rely on noisy buses when we can have talented musicians serenading us as we travel? It’s the perfect way to cultivate our culture while making sure no one is stuck in traffic.”
The plan involves deploying a band of Għana performers at every bus stop and square across Malta. Passengers will now be encouraged to sing along as they travel to work, a move designed to foster community bonds. “If you can’t find a bus, at least you can join a chorus!” added Karmenu.
“This will also bring a fantastic sense of peace. Who wants to hear a horn when you can enjoy a sweet melody?”
Critics are skeptical, however. Local resident Marija said, “I can hardly fit through the bus doors with all this Għana! How will I even get to work?” When asked about the bus drivers, Karmenu responded, “They can now become professional Għana singers. It’s a win-win!”
As a side effect, the Planning Authority has reported a dramatic decrease in traffic fines since the announcement. “If you can sing your way to the office, who needs to park?” declared a pleased Maria Cavallaro, a parking warden.
At press time, Traffic enforcement officers were seen trying to issue fines to a group of musicians, but they were too busy dancing.