VALLETTA — In an unprecedented move, the Maltese government has announced that all traffic lights will be replaced with traditional festa lanterns. Authorities claim that ‘more confusion leads to better driving skills’ particularly during the bustling summer feasts.
During a press conference that took place in the middle of a roundabout, Minister for Transport, Tumas Agius, said, “Mela, we want our drivers to be ready for anything! If they can navigate through some colourful glowing lanterns, imagine how well they will drive when it’s just boring old lights.”
The initiative is set to kick off next week, just in time for the feast season. Though critics call it “utter madness,” the government stands firm. “Look at our pastizzi! They’re not uniform, but they still taste great. Driving should be a bit like that too,” insisted Agius.
Festa or Fiasco?
Experts are divided on the effectiveness of this new plan. Driving instructor Karmenu Muscat expressed skepticism, stating, “Ara, if I can’t teach my students to stop at a red light, how do they expect them to stop at a blinking lantern?”
“More chaos is exactly what we need on the roads. It builds character!”
Meanwhile, locals are gearing up for the chaos.