VALLETTA — In a shocking turn of events, the Maltese Parliament has officially declared September 15th as ‘Kinnie Break’, a national holiday dedicated to the beloved soft drink, Kinnie. Citizens are encouraged to take the day off to relax by the sea with their favourite fizzy drink—and not just any drink, but Kinnie, of course.
This new legislation includes a peculiar stipulation: all conversations must include at least three references to pastizzi. Failure to do so may result in a hefty fine or, even worse, a day spent without the delicious flaky pastry.
”We believe that Kinnie and pastizzi go hand in hand. It’s a matter of national pride!”
Local beaches are bracing for an influx of sunbathers sipping their Kinnie while shouting to one another about their favourite types of pastizzi. Tumas, a local along the Sliema promenade, enthusiastically commented, “I just can’t wait to enjoy some Kinnie while I yell about my love for bigilla pastizz!” A true cultural moment, indeed.
Critics of the holiday argue that it may lead to confusion. Like many moments in Maltese history, this holiday has left the public unsure of whether they should actually be relaxing or engaging in an intense pastizzi debate. “Honestly, I just want to enjoy my Kinnie in peace!” said Marija, a frustrated beach-goer caught in the culinary crossfire.
The Planning Authority has also jumped on the bandwagon, announcing that all upcoming construction projects near beaches must include Kinnie and pastizzi-themed sculptures. “We are merging culture with development!” said Pawlu, an overly enthusiastic architect.
As the day approaches, citizens are stocking up on Kinnie and pastizzi supplies. Shops are expecting a rush like never before. Iva, this is a holiday that promises both refreshment and a new way of looking at our cherished local snacks.
At press time, local t-shirt vendors were already selling ‘Kinnie & Pastizzi Forever’ shirts, taking full advantage of the new holiday spirit.