VALLETTA — Prime Minister Robert Abela yesterday announced that the country will hold general elections “when the ferries start running on time,” giving the public a clear new timetable they say is easy to understand.
Speaking from a podium with a backdrop of limestone and a large photo of a Gozo ferry, Abela said the government could not, in good conscience, call an election while the national sense of punctuality remained unstable.
Logistics before logistics
”We must have consistency,” Abela said. “If the ferries are late, how can voters be expected to arrive? How can we count on the Planning Authority to finish forms? Kemm jista’ jkun, it makes sense. When the ferries are on time, we will set a date. Simple."
"When the ferries start running on time, we’ll pick a date. Could be tomorrow, could be next week, could be when my nephew finishes his driving lessons.”
The announcement was greeted with mixed reactions. Supporters praised the new, relatable criterion. Critics said it sounded like an excuse to avoid answering questions about reforms, budgets, or how many pastizzi were ordered for Cabinet meetings.
Nation reacts
At Marsamxett Harbour commuters nodded knowingly. “Mela, if the ferry’s early, maybe we’ll also get a government that’s early for promises,” said Carmen from Sliema, chewing a pastizz and checking her watch. “If not, at least we know when not to expect an election — when the ferry is late, obviously.”
Opposition leader Bernard called the plan “a demonstration of commitment to maritime standards,” then immediately asked for a backup plan should the ferries achieve punctuality faster than expected.
Political analysts were baffled but intrigued. Dr. Pawlu Zammit of the University of Valletta said, “It’s clever. It ties national morale to a measurable, albeit unreliable, public service. Also gives them plausible deniability when everyone is stuck behind a roundabout.”
Transport officials said modernising the ferry timetable would take “weeks, maybe months,” and warned of delays caused by queueing, traffic, and unexpected festa fireworks.
At press time, the Gozo ferry was 12 minutes late. Government sources said that meant the election was “probably not today.”