GOZO — The Maltese government announced today that it will officially recognize the annual ‘San Ġorġ Tarzan Lookalike Contest’ as an official event, sparking both excitement and frustration across the island. The proposal aims to attract tourists by inviting contestants to swing from the cliffs of Gozo while reciting the national anthem. Yes, you heard it right!
Locals are enthusiastic about the initiative, with one resident, Pawlu, saying, “Finally, something to do other than eat pastizzi and wait for the ferry!” However, the local wildlife is less than thrilled. Resident pigeons expressed their grievances, stating, “Uwejja, can’t a bird enjoy a peaceful afternoon without a bunch of men in loincloths swinging by?”
The Contest Details
Contestants will be required to demonstrate both their Tarzan-like physical prowess and their ability to sing the Maltese national anthem while hanging from a cliff. Prizes include a year’s supply of ħobż biż-żejt and a free parking permit for the summer. Marija, the event organizer, mentioned, “We’re calling it the first crossover event between our culture and jungle fever!"
"I always wanted to be famous for something other than playing the accordion at festas!”
The government believes that this unique blend of culture and adventure will position Gozo as a premier tourist destination. “Tourists love nature, and they love quirky contests. Mela, this is two in one!” said a spokesperson from the Planning Authority.
While the contest will continue as planned, local environmentalists have raised concerns about the impact on the fragile cliff ecosystem. One activist, Zaren, sarcastically noted, “Nothing says ‘sustainable tourism’ like hanging from cliffs screaming the national anthem!”
Despite the pushback, the government remains resolute. At press time, preparations were already underway for the first-ever Tarzan Parade to crown the contest winner while goat cheese is handed out to unsuspecting tourists.