MĠARR, GOZO — Chaos erupted at Mġarr Harbour yesterday morning when the MV Nikolaos, the vessel servicing the Gozo Channel, arrived at its scheduled destination at precisely the time indicated on the timetable, an event so unprecedented that at least fourteen passengers required medical attention for acute shock.
”I checked my watch three times. Then I checked my phone. Then I asked the man next to me what time it was,” said Pawlu Grech, 58, who has been commuting between Malta and Gozo for thirty-one years. “When I confirmed it was actually 10:45 — the exact time printed on the schedule — my legs gave out and I had to sit on the floor of the car deck.”
Paramedics were called to the harbour after multiple passengers reported symptoms including dizziness, hyperventilation, and what one doctor described as “an overwhelming sense that something must be terribly wrong.” Three passengers reportedly refused to disembark, convinced the ferry had arrived at the wrong island.
”In my professional opinion, these passengers experienced a sudden and total collapse of their expectations framework,” explained Dr. Zaren Mifsud, head of psychology at Mater Dei Hospital. “The human mind, particularly the Maltese human mind, is simply not equipped to process an on-time Gozo ferry arrival. It’s like seeing a unicorn. Your brain rejects the information.”
Gozo Channel management released a terse statement describing the on-time arrival as “an isolated incident” and assuring regular commuters that “normal delays will resume shortly.” An internal investigation has been launched to determine what went wrong.
”We take our reputation very seriously,” said a spokesperson. “Our customers have come to expect a certain standard of unpredictability, and we remain committed to delivering that experience. Today’s lapse in service will not happen again.”
The incident has already sparked a heated debate on social media, with many users questioning whether the ferry actually arrived on time or whether all clocks in Gozo had simply malfunctioned simultaneously. “More believable, honestly,” wrote one commenter.
At press time, the 2:30 PM departure was running forty-seven minutes late, and normality appeared to have been restored. Passengers were seen nodding knowingly and muttering “mela” under their breath.