VALLETTA — In what authorities are now describing as the gravest crisis to befall the Maltese archipelago since the Great Ħobż biż-Żejt Dispute of 1987, the nationwide pastizzi shortage has officially entered its twelfth consecutive day, with no end in sight and a nation teetering on the brink of what experts are calling “total societal collapse.”
The crisis, which began when a critical shipment of ricotta was inexplicably diverted to Sicily — “probably on purpose, those Sicilians have always been jealous of our pastizzi,” said one government official who declined to be named — has left pastizzerias across Malta and Gozo shuttered, their display cases hauntingly empty.
”I walked past Crystal Palace this morning and the glass case was bare. Bare, I tell you,” said Tumas Camilleri, 67, of Rabat, his voice cracking with emotion. “I’ve lived through floods, political crises, and that time the Gozo ferry broke down for three days. But this? This is different. This hits you right here,” he added, placing his hand over his heart and then his stomach.
The Ministry for Pastizzi Affairs — established in 2019 after a similar, though less severe, shortage — held an emergency press conference this morning. Minister Karmenu Borg assured the public that “all resources are being mobilised,” though he notably refused to give a timeline for when pastizzi production would resume.
”We are in active negotiations with several ricotta suppliers,” Minister Borg stated, reading from a prepared statement with visibly trembling hands. “I want to assure the Maltese people that their government is treating this with the seriousness it deserves. We have cancelled all other parliamentary business until this is resolved.”
The economic impact has been staggering. Productivity across all sectors has dropped by an estimated 43%, as workers report an inability to concentrate without their morning pastizz. The Valletta Chamber of Commerce released a statement calling the shortage “an existential threat to the Maltese way of life” and demanded that the army be deployed to guard remaining frozen pastizzi stockpiles.
Meanwhile, a black market for pastizzi has emerged, with reports of individual ricotta pastizzi selling for as much as €15 in Sliema. “I paid €12 for one yesterday, and it wasn’t even warm,” admitted Marija Vella, 42, of St Julian’s. “But uwejja, what can you do? A person has to eat.”
At press time, the Prime Minister was scheduled to address the nation at 8 PM, in what sources say will be a request for calm and an announcement of pastizzi rationing. Citizens are advised to remain in their homes and, if possible, hug a loved one.