VALLETTA — In a decision that leaves many scratching their heads, Valletta’s Local Council has officially designated the infamous Spaghetti Junction as Malta’s first underwater theme park. The park, set to open next summer, promises to feature everything from wine fountains to a diving seagull circus.
The Local Council celebrated this groundbreaking announcement by hurling a massive party at the nearest pastizzerija, where fluffy pastizzi were served to the thrilled crowd. “We wanted to create a unique attraction that combines Malta’s love for seafood with a touch of adventure, and what better place than our beloved junction?” said Karmenu, the council’s head of nonsense.
”When you think of thrill and fun, you think of seagulls performing circus tricks and drinking fine Maltese wine!”
Locals are already scratching their heads over the logistics. “Uwejjah, how are they gonna keep it underwater? Are they going to put a roof made of limestone?” asked Marija, a longtime resident who regularly avoids the junction due to traffic. The council has assured everyone that state-of-the-art engineering will be used to ensure everything remains submerged and fabulous.
Seagulls Take Centre Stage
The most exciting part of the announcement is undoubtedly the “Seagull Circus.” The council plans to train local seagulls to perform jaw-dropping stunts such as flying through hoops and balancing on tightropes. “No more ‘seagull in a bag’ incidents! Instead, we’ll have seagulls in sequins!” boasted Tumas, the self-appointed ringmaster.
Of course, there are skeptics. “Do we really need more wine?” groaned Pawlu, a retired bus driver, as he nibbled on his ħobż biż-żejt. “And like, how safe is it to mix wine with seagulls?”
Nevertheless, excitement is brewing (or flowing, if you count the wine) among the populace. The local council promises a grand opening with fireworks, which ironically may cause more traffic than the junction ever did. At press time, officials were still figuring out how to fit the Gozo ferry service into the theme park plans.