VALLETTA — In a move that has left many scratching their heads, the Maltese government has officially declared that public bus routes will now be based on local fishing conditions. In an effort to improve efficiency, drivers must chant ‘Il-Merħba’ to the sea before every trip to ensure optimal on-time performance.
The new policy aims to align bus schedules with the tides. Transport Minister Roderick Abela explained, “We’ve realized that if fishermen can rely on the sea, so can our bus drivers. Why not turn all public transport into a fishing trip? They bring in ‘il-ħobż tal-pasta’, we’ll bring in the passengers!”
Local drivers have responded with mixed feelings. “What’s next, asking the jellyfish for directions?” said bus driver Karmenu, who expressed skepticism about the chanting requirement. “I’ve always talked to my bus. Now I have to talk to the sea?”
Fishermen and Bus Drivers Unite
Fishermen around Malta have embraced the new arrangement. “Finally, our skills are recognized!” said local fisherman Ġanni while preparing his nets. “I’ve been telling people where the big fish are for years. Now I can do it for buses too!”
“When the sea speaks, we must listen! Il-Merħba!”
However, not everyone is convinced this will work. Commuter Marija is worried about the implications. “I get seasick on the bus now, I’m sure of it. And what if the fishermen have bad luck? Am I going to end up in Għajnsielem with no hope of getting to Valletta?”
At press time, a local group has started a petition to change the bus route names to popular fish such as ‘Il-Lampuka Line’ and ‘Tuna Express.’