VALLETTA — In an unprecedented effort to lift the spirits of the nation, the Maltese government has declared that every Sunday will be an official ‘Festa tal-Baħar’ day. Citizens are required to gather on the coast to engage in serious discussions about whether rabbit stew or fish soup reigns supreme in the Maltese culinary world, all while dressed as important historical figures from our seafaring past.
The Prime Minister stated, “We need something to bring us together. What better way than debating food on a sailboat while dressed as Edward Zarb or maybe even a pirate?” Mela, he added, “Everyone loves a good rabbit stew.”
Not everyone, however, is on board with the initiative. Local philosopher and fishmonger, Karmenu, remarked, “Uwejjaj, do I have to wear a costume? Rabbits don’t swim, so I’ll just look like a rabbit on a boat!”
Debating the Great Culinary Question
Each Sunday, participants are expected to bring their best arguments – and dishes. The Ministry of Culture has listed guidelines including, “You must wear attire that represents a significant figure in Malta’s maritime history, like Jean de Valette or any pirate you can think of.” The government even released a handbook on historical attire, leading to confusion as many locals are scrambling for their great-grandfather’s sea captain coat.
“It’s absolutely ridiculous, yet I can’t wait to argue over pasta instead of politics!”
The first official Sunday of ‘Festa tal-Baħar’ is set for this weekend, where citizens are encouraged to bring not only their appetite but also inflatable boats for the discussions. The Planning Authority has reportedly approved temporary makeshift eateries along the coast, because nothing sparks philosophical debate like a round of ħobż biż-żejt while adrift.
At the end of the day, the most important question remains: who will take the trophy for best rabbit stew or fish soup debate? At press time, the Ministry hinted at a potential fireworks display if there’s enough disagreement.