VALLETTA — In a move that has left both drivers and musicians speechless, the Maltese government has announced plans to replace all traffic lights with traditional Għana singers at intersections. Officials claim this will not only alleviate road rage but fill the general silence of rush hour with the sweet sounds of folk music.
”We realized that the only thing worse than sitting in traffic is sitting in silence,” said Transport Minister Karmenu. “Għana singers will guide cars through intersections with their enchanting voices, turning every halt into a mini festa!”
The initiative was reportedly inspired by a successful pilot program in which a local bar on a busy roundabout played Għana during peak hours. Unexpectedly, traffic slowed to a crawl, and drivers found themselves singing along instead of hurling insults at each other.
Details and Concerns
While some residents have praised the idea, others are raising eyebrows. Marija, a taxi driver from Birkirkara, expressed her skepticism: “What if the singers lose their voices? Will we just sit there like muppets waiting for them to gargle some honey and lemon?"
"I just want to know if they’ll be able to pick songs based on the traffic situation. Can we have sad songs when it’s congested?”
Sources say that the government is currently in talks with local Għana associations to recruit singers who specialize in fast-paced ballads to handle busy intersections. As for those who prefer more modern tunes, officials assured residents that every intersection will feature a rotating playlist, including classic Maltese hits and popular foreign music during the quiet hours.
At press time, the Planning Authority had not yet commented on the new traffic plan, although they are reportedly considering how to incorporate neon signs that say “Stop” in one of the melodic Għana tunes.