VALLETTA — In a decision that has ‘wow-ed’ everyone, the Maltese government has officially declared the local bus system a cultural heritage site. Yes, you heard that right. Those buses we all love to complain about are now a treasure.
Under this new declaration, commuters can now apply for loans to restore the ‘vintage’ smells of sweat and stale pastizzi from the 1980s. Toni, a frequent bus user from Msida, expressed his delight: “Finally, I can get a loan to make sure my bus smells like it did when I was a kid. I miss the aroma of unwashed seats and spilled ħobż biż-żejt!”
Transport Minister Karmenu Baltazar defended the initiative saying, “We are honoring our heritage. Where else can you find a smell that captures the essence of Maltese history? It’s a part of our identity!”
Loans for Smells
The loans will be provided to citizens wanting to literally ‘revive’ the atmosphere of their local buses. Restoration projects could include the acquisition of vintage pastizzi, a selection of old-style bean bags, and even hosting re-enactments of the dreaded bus delays from the ‘good old days’.
“This is a huge step for us! It’s not just a bus; it’s a time machine,”
While some are excited about the project, others have raised eyebrows. Zaren from Rabat said, “Kemm hu l-imbotta! I just want a bus that arrives on time, not one that smells like my nanna’s basement.”
Lastly, the Planning Authority has been tasked with drawing up a plan that will ensure all buses will be retrofitted with ‘historical’ fragrances by next year.
At press time, the government was also considering a proposal to declare the Gozo ferry a national dish.