VALLETTA — In a move that has left Maltese citizens both puzzled and hungry, the Government of Malta has officially launched an innovative ‘Marethong’ competition. Citizens will race inflatable dinghies filled with pastizzi across the Grand Harbour, combining the thrill of competition with the beloved local snack.
Winners of this unique event will receive a lifetime supply of Tunnara tuna and a three-month parking permit at Valletta’s notorious no-parking zone, known for its notoriously angry parking wardens.
”Finally, a way to combine my love for pastizzi and my hatred for parking fines!”
The Grand Harbour will transform into a course filled with bouncing boats and flying pastry as participants fight for supremacy on the water. The Planning Authority is reportedly on board, having already approved the colorful dinghies that will surely brighten up the harbour.
Pastizzi Overboard!
Local favorites like ricotta and pea pastizzi will be the official cargo for each inflatable boat. Competitors are being warned that any pastizzi falling overboard will disqualify them, leading to what one politician described as “the ultimate pastry tragedy.”
As crowds gather in anticipation, Marija, an authentic pastizzi maker from Valletta, expressed her excitement for the event. “I can’t wait to see how many pastizzi we go through. Everyone loves a good race, especially when there’s food involved!”
Competitors are expected to register in droves, many hoping to impress their friends and family with honking inflatable boats filled to the brim with pastizzi. Whatever the outcome, one thing is certain: the streets of Valletta are going to be a lot messier, regardless of who wins.
At press time, the Prime Minister was spotted practicing his paddling technique in a mini dinghy filled with pastizzi, declaring that he would race anyone who dared challenge him.