VALLETTA — In a surprising turn of events, the Maltese government has officially launched ‘Sneezing Day’, a national holiday where citizens are encouraged to sneeze intentionally all day. Authorities believe this will boost the economy by generating a massive demand for tissues, specially priced at just two euros each.
The Ministry of Health stated, “Every sneeze counts! We need you to buy tissues at all costs!” Officials have also mandated that residents must capture their sneezing in selfies and post them online, accompanied by the hashtag #SneezeForMalta.
‘Tissue Shortage Crisis’ Declared
By lunchtime, the demand exploded, leading to a ‘tissue shortage crisis’. Tissues flew off the shelves in Sliema, where local shopkeepers reported lines stretching all the way to the sea. One shop owner, Tumas, lamented, “Uwejja, I thought I was selling pastizzi! Now it’s just tissues!”
“The economy needs sneezes, not excuses!”
Meanwhile, local pharmacies are restocking their shelves with every brand of tissue imaginable, hoping to cash in on this unexpected holiday.
Citizens have embraced the holiday with gusto. Facebook is flooded with videos of people sneezing loudly, proclaiming their love for the holiday, while others are simply confused, thinking it’s another festa. Pawlu, from Gozo, remarked, “I thought ‘Sneezing Day’ was just a fancy way to celebrate pollen!”
At press time, the Ministry was considering a spin-off event called ‘Coughing Week’ to keep the momentum going. Stay tuned!