VALLETTA — In a bold move to enhance Malta’s ‘historic charm,’ the government has announced the ‘Mandatory Fogg’ initiative, requiring all residents to install personal fog machines. Authorities claim this will preserve the island’s allure during the bustling summer tourist season.
”We need to make sure tourists think they’ve stepped into a movie set,” declared Tourism Minister Karmenu, while dramatically waving his hands in the air. “Imagine the surprise of visitors when they can’t see where they’re going, and they end up accidentally touring Mdina instead of Paceville!”
“This is genius! I can finally blame my missed bus for getting lost in the fog,”
The initiative will require each household to purchase and maintain a fog machine that must operate from June to September. Residents can choose between ‘mild mist’ or ‘heavy fog’ settings, both designed to create an enchanting environment that obscures important street signs and landmarks. The Planning Authority expects local hardware shops to be overrun with demand for fog machines, and chaos is already reported in various outlets.
Local Reaction Mixed
While some locals are on board, others are raising eyebrows. “Uwejj, I struggled to find parking with normal visibility! Now I have to do it in a cloud of fog?” grumbled Pawlu, a disgruntled Valletta driver. “At least it will cover the potholes!”
Confusion reigns as holidaymakers have already begun to arrive. An insider at the Gozo ferry reported that tourists, donning sunglasses and summer hats, were bewildered when confronted with rolling clouds instead of beach views. Foreigners from the UK are particularly excited, likening it to a classic British seaside holiday.
“Next stop, fog-hopping!”
As the first fog machines are set to roll out next month, the government is promoting a campaign: “Keep Malta Mysterious!” T-shirts are already being printed, depicting foggy scenes alongside a silhouette of the Ġgantija temples.
At press time, the first reported incident of a family getting lost in a fog bank while searching for pastizzi has occurred, leaving authorities confident in their plan.