MARSAXLOKK — A group of retired fishermen has formed a new political party called “Wi-Fi Fishers”, advocating for the legalisation of fishing with Wi-Fi. The fishermen claim this will revolutionise their catches by using an app that detects the ‘emotional state’ of fish.
”We used to just throw out a line and hope for the best, but that’s so 1980s!” said party leader Tumas. “Now, with the latest technology, we can find out if a fish is anxious or hungry. Who wouldn’t want to fish in a state of mindfulness?”
The app, called Fish-o-Meter, is said to analyse fish moods using GPS and other high-tech wizardry. “Imagine a fish feeling sad, and then you swoop in with a delicious pastizz as a peace offering!” added Karmenu, another retired fisherman.
Fish Emotions: The Next Frontier
Supporters of the new party argue that understanding fish emotions can lead to more successful fishing trips. “An angry fish won’t bite, but if you play it some relaxing music, who knows?” remarked Pawlu, a retired fisherman who now moonlights as an emotional fish therapist.
”Fish just want to feel understood. Wi-Fi can make that happen.”
No one has yet tested the app in the open seas, but the Wi-Fi Fishers claim the experimental results show a 150% increase in moods among their pet goldfish.
Opponents argue that the approach might lead to fish becoming overly dependent on technology. “What will they do next? Start a GoFundMe for a new fish mansion?” laughed Marija, a local sceptic.
Regardless, the fishermen plan to run in the next elections. They are optimistic about their chances. As Tumas said, “If the fish are happy, we are happy. And then, we eat!”
At press time, reports indicate that the first Wi-Fi fishing trip will double as a reality TV show. Local viewers are keen to see how fish react when confronted with keyboards and routers.