VALLETTA — In a groundbreaking decision, the Maltese government has announced that all public holidays will be replaced with mandatory three-hour siestas. The bold move comes after a study concluded that productivity spikes as citizens dream of pastizzi and village feasts.
”We realized that while everyone enjoys a good festa, nothing beats the creativity that comes from napping,” said Karmenu, Minister for Naps. “Imagine waking up from a power sleep and craving a delicious pastizz—people will be inspired like never before!”
The study, conducted while a group of researchers was napping themselves, found that visions of traditional festas led to better decision-making and greater enthusiasm for waiting in traffic.
Siesta Enthusiasm
The announcement has met with mixed feelings across the islands. Marija, a local shop owner, commented, “Uwejj, I love a good nap, but what about all the time we’ll lose not working?” Nonetheless, many citizens are embracing the siesta trend, claiming it will enhance both their dreams and their appetite for more pastizzi.
“What’s better than napping and waking up to the smell of fresh ħobż biż-żejt? We’ll be the most productive nappers in Europe!”
As the date for implementing this siesta policy approaches, locals are already bracing for a sudden influx of pastizzi sales, as neighbors plan on indulging during their relaxation time.
At press time, the Planning Authority announced plans for nap stations in every town square, equipped with pillows and complimentary pastizzi, of course.