SLIEMA — In a bold and surprising initiative, the Municipality of Sliema has officially decided to ban all swimming pools in the area, citing they are ‘too wet’ and encourage un-Maltese behaviors like cleanliness and personal hygiene.
Mayor Karmenu Camilleri announced the decision at a press conference held next to a local pastizzerija, where he stated, “Uwejj, we Maltese don’t need pools! We have the sea, and that’s enough. Who needs to wash anyway?” The declaration was met with enthusiastic applause from a crowd made up entirely of local businesses that sell funghi, which, coincidentally, thrive in areas with poor hygiene.
Officials argue that swimming pools promote a false sense of cleanliness, setting unrealistic standards that are detrimental to true Maltese living. “A proper Maltese should have the scent of the sea, not chlorine,” explained Marija, a local supporter of the ban. “We don’t need fancy filters; we have the Gozo ferry’s waves to keep our spirits high.”
Community Reactions
The announcement has sparked mixed reactions in Sliema. Some residents are ecstatic; “Mela, finally! I was tired of people pretending to be clean,” claimed Pawlu, who hasn’t stepped foot in a pool for years. “All this swimming and washing, it’s not how we do things in Malta!”
“The only thing we should be diving into is a good plate of ħobż biż-żejt, not a pool!”
However, others are less pleased. “What about the children?” protested Carmen, a mother of three. “They need a place to swim! The sea can be dangerous sometimes, especially when the wind is up.” But the municipality appeared unfazed, reminding residents of their new motto, “Stay dry and stay Maltese!”
At press time, the mayor was reportedly researching ways to convert existing swimming pools into storage for fireworks for the upcoming festa season.