VALLETTA — In a groundbreaking announcement, the Maltese National Water Authority has unveiled its latest product: ‘Nostalgic Waves,’ a bottled seawater described as the perfect cure for homesickness among Maltese expats. The water is said to encapsulate the ‘taste of home’ with carefully curated ingredients, including a hint of traffic fumes and a splash of summer sun.
The idea behind ‘Nostalgic Waves’ was conceived when local entrepreneur Tumas, an expat himself, lamented how much he missed the delightful scent of rush hour in Sliema. “It’s like I’m back home every time I take a sip!” he exclaimed, holding a bottle while standing on a bench in a park with a seagull eyeing him curiously.
Ingredients from the Heart of Malta
Each bottle contains authentic Maltese seawater, meticulously harvested from the gorgeous coastline of St. Julian’s. However, the secret to the product’s unique flavor profile lies in the blending process, whereby the water is mixed with fine traffic fumes, giving it that unmistakable urban essence.
”I’ve been to London and New York, but nothing beats the taste of home like a whiff of diesel mixed with salt and sun!”
To top it all off, each bottle is sealed with a cork, just like the hundreds of empty Ġejja bottles floating around the Ġnejna beach at the end of summer. “This makes it authentic,” added Marija, spokesperson for the National Water Authority. “We want our expats to feel the nostalgia with every nostalgic sip.”
’Nostalgic Waves’ will be available in various flavors, such as ‘Sliema Sunset’ and ‘Pastizzi Drizzle,’ and is priced at €9.99 a bottle, which is, according to Karmenu, a fair price for a blend of seawater and reality.
At press time, reports came in that foreigners in Malta were confused why anyone would pay to drink seawater when they could just visit the beach instead. “That’s the point!” Carmen argued, “They wouldn’t get the traffic fumes at the beach!”